Help

It used to annoy me when people said everything I was feeling (after my son died, and still nearly four years on) was "normal". Normal or not it doesn't make the pain any less, it doesn't make everything all right does it? Like you, I just want  him back, feel it shouldn't have happened. It's very early days indeed for you and I wish you the strength to get through this.

Mrs S,

I have no idea how I have managed to survive on my own for the last 9 weeks.

My beautiful Valen did all, and I really mean all, of the cooking. 
Hence the first week I ate only packet after packet of wine gums.

Im not sure how I still function as I don’t go to bed till 2am and then wake up at 4.30. Doze until 6.30 the up in frustration. 

The TV wouldn’t turn on the other week and I just stood in front of it sobbing for at least an hour. 
I don’t know what to do. He’s the practical one. I had to call a friend.

I had to abandon the car once as I was crying so much that it was me driving not him. I couldn’t see to drive, so got out and walked the half hour home.

So many times left baskets of shopping in the supermarket as had to get out of there after seeing baba ganoush / cocktail sausages / red bush teabags.

Christ now’s what I’ll do if a spider stalks me. Go and stay with my mum probably!

What I’m saying is that we are all getting through somehow. 

It’s not pretty. The dark despair. The reliving everything. The loneliness. The emptiness. The guilty feeling of being here. 
The guilty feeling when we first laugh or go out. 
It’s physically painful. Mentally draining.

Use his forum to vent, rage, cry, reminisce.

You know that we are the ones who understand.

Sending you a hug x

I agree, everyone means well and I appreciate the support, but right now I can't see anyway past the grief and pain. I'm so sorry for the loss of your son, that's unimaginable. Sending hugs xx

I feel the same, so lost and desperate. It’s been 7 weeks now since I lost my husband, my life. I’m not sure how I’ve got through it, it’s all been a blur. We’ve only had 3 days apart in almost 30 years until now.

I too have plenty of people around me but I’m so alone. I just want him back.

I don’t think that we can look forward. They say to take it day by day or even hour by hour. We don’t have much choice, do we?

We really do understand so I hope that, at least, is some sort of comfort.

It is so hard isn’t it ? For me, it is the reality of the situation. I am sixteen weeks in, and am trying to imagine some sort of future life without my darling Paul. We would have been married for 36 years on 9th December. Firstly, I don’t want to, I want my husband back, although I know this isn’t possible. That in itself has nearly destroyed me, as we were so happy. I also have two adult children, who are still living at home. They need their mum to give them stability, strength and comfort. I have had to dig deep into my inner strength to find that resilience. I have given myself a good talking to today, as I need to continue with all the bloody administration and responsibilities of running a home. I am fighting for myself every day. Sending hugs, Kate. Xxx