Guilt

It is hysterical, isn’t it. They think that we are desperate for their sympathy and support. Well, I am not. It works both ways. I have to focus on myself and my family. I am luckily enough to have several close friends who are not crowding me. The last week has been crazy. The pipe burst under the kitchen sink and flooded the kitchen on Sunday, my son has got four impacted wisdom teeth that has caused an infection, and my daughter is still waiting for Bereavement Counselling. Oh, it will also be our 36th Wedding Anniversary on the 9th December. You couldn’t make it up. As for our planned trip to Lanzarote, we shall have to see if that is still possible. What a year ! Sending hugs to all. Kate. Xxx

I think you did make the right decision. If you don't feel at peace about something,I think it's best not to do it.

I lost our dog about 8 months after my husband died. We'd always had dogs, so the thought of not having one was too much. I rescued another ( we had always rescued) straightway and it was definitely right for me at the time. Sadly, he developed lymphoma just a couple of years after I got him and I had to have him put to sleep too. It was hard, but had to be done. At that time I was caring for my mum, who was in her nineties and becoming increasingly frail, and COVID had arrived, so for both those reasons, I didn't get another dog. Now, four years later, I still don't behave a dog and I have settled without one.

I wouldn't for one minute discourage you from having a dog at some point, they do provide company and a reason to get up, dressed and out in the morning! But you do need to consider owning a dog when you're on your own. I've realised that I now am able to go out and not have to worry about how long I've left a dog. I'm also able to help my daughter and granddaughter at short notice. Since my mum died, it's the first time I've had those things to thing about, as she would always let the dogs out for us, or look after them for short periods.

You might well still decide on getting one in future months, but I heard someone say "Let the emotions subside before you decide" about any kind of decisions we have to make. I thought that was great advice, and will try to apply it in my own life!

There will always be puppies or dogs needing homes, so you can safely take your time in deciding. X

My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly after he collapsed. The post mortem said that he died of a large saddle pulmonary embolism and kidney cancer which was in both kidneys. One being 12 cm and the other 4 cm. Both had breach the capsule. This was such a shock as my husband was working the day before. He was 53 years old. 20 months previously he had a 3 metre fall which I am convinced that trigger the cancer. My husband did have some signs which was masked by the fall. My husband just started having tests and was due a CT on the Thursday.  My husband hated the doctors and hospital and had just started a new job. He had appointment at the liver clinic on the Tuesday so I tried to move his CT scan appointment forward to the same day as his liver appointment but they couldn't do it. They offered the Sunday and I accepted as I didn't realise it was urgent referral. It was changed by 3 days and I never thought he was going to die suddenly. He died on the day the CT scan was due. I have never felt so much guilt in my life. I interfere and feel like I killed my husband changing his appointment. I keep thinking if saw the blood clot and removed it he would still be here now having treatment. So sorry for the long post and sorry that you are going through this. Sending big hugs.