Where’s my sign?

Thinking of you tomorrow and glad you have a kind priest and funeral director. Just think of your beautiful husband and his love and pride in you. He is in your heart and in your love for each -  still. 

I managed a few hours fitful sleep. Woke up with a panic attack. 

I know I won’t, but right now I just want to curl up with his essence in our home and not go. 
But that won’t make it any less real and happening. 
And of course I will go as I guess I do need the realness 

And I need to see him today as it’s the last time. 
And he would be mightily p***ed off if after all his work arranging his own funeral I didn’t go!

I spoke to his sister and mum last night and again they are seeing signs of him almost daily. 
Its bringing them great comfort.

I want that comfort. 
Why isn’t he comforting me? 

You are stronger than you think. Sending calming and soothing thoughts. Kate. Xxx

Thinking about you today, you will have that inner strength to get through this, maybe that will be his sign to get you through this. I’ve been up half the night as well and finally informed his ban online during the night. Please let us know how it all went, ️

Thinking of you today. Your husband will be in your heart. xx

Sending you strength and warm wishes for today xx

He will be with you, you might not feel his arms around you, but he'll be there.

Plus he won't want to miss the funeral he had a say in. 

Deep breathes, you can do this.

Love and hugs xx

Mrs VT, remember the miracle of romantic love, marital bonds (with all its ups and downs) is a different thing from family and other friendship bonds - miraculously different and magical. This is your gift and sign that however great the loss others experience your loss is different and unique and it's complex. Don’t rush anything. This is still your romantic love, marriage - unique to you and your beloved. 

Oh hello there, How awful for you. It hurts doesn't it ? Slow down, breathe. One minute at a time. You will get there.

Thinking of you for tomorrow. I remember at my Barry's funeral, I was strangely calm, as if he was there helping me. The signs were there, and have continued, nearly two years later. Good luck.

Hugs 

FlorenceR 

I love that; The miracle of romantic love!

Well. I’ve done it.

I actually cried out loud “No! Buba. No.” as his coffin was brought in to the church. Horrific. 
Then managed half “ My Love” eulogy. Good friend of ours stepped in. 
Lots of sobs and lots of gentle crying throughout a lovely Catholic requiem. Never been to one before (90% congregation not Catholic but all said beautiful).

I practically ran out the church after him as he was taken out.

Utterly lost it when I followed him in to the crematorium with the music he chose and him on our wedding day giant picture. 
Rest of service there was all calm. Lovely speech from one of his brothers. 
Then when curtain came round and “our song” played I couldn’t take anymore pain. 
Or reality. 
Curled into my sister and heart sobbed.

Later, at his celebration, I had an amazing time listening to his work colleagues, friends and family mingle and share stories. 
So lovely to hear how loved he is and how cherished he is. 

So though the day was incredibly traumatic, it was also beautiful and the end was a true celebration of a wonderful man’s life.

No on my sofa snuggled in a huge fluffy dressing gown with a G&T and chocolates.

I think I may possibly get more than 3 hours sleep.

Thank you all for your heartfelt support to a stranger in a strange situation which we are all of us to one degree or another coming to terms with.