Everyone is banging on about my darling husband sending signs or they see signs from him.
They see sunflowers (his favourite flower) or butterflies (associated with me) or the number 14 (his lucky number - though not so lucky as he passed in hotel room number 14).
They say this shows he is all around us.
Well where is my bloody sign?
I have cried so hard today I have been physically sick.
I lie to those closet to me and say I’ve slept or eaten.
It’s his funeral Monday.
It’s to final.
I go see and talk to him every day. It calms me to see him looking so peaceful. He looks the healthiest he has for a month.
What am I going to do when I can’t go and see him and stroke his beautiful face and hold his beautiful hand any more?
I can’t do this without him. I don’t want to do this without him.
I want to get in the car and drive until I run out of petrol. But I need to have his pillow, clothes, gadgets and stuff in reach.
As before, this is a “release the turmoil and confusion” post with no response needed.
I know you feel the same.
