Nights

I hope you managed to get some rest. I also find the silence hard and often play audio books just to hear a voice. I also broke the house rules and allowed my dog on the bed after I lost my husband so now I battle for space with a small terrier.  My sleep pattern has always been irregular after years of shift work so I have kind of learnt to go with the flow. I am sending you a huge hug and a doggy cuddle.

Sulubee

Hello Sad1

I can so identify with your post. I am fortunate that I like my own company so being alone at times never actually bothers me. The thing about going to bed at night though I do get that. My husband Jay passed in hospital almost 16 months ago and while he was in hospital he used to phone me at night wishing me good night, love you etc etc although nearer the end this became fewer and fewer because his speech and everything was starting to go. It was the reverse for us unfortunately and I was the `snorer` he always threatened to record me some nights because I wouldn't believe him that it was so bad. I always liked having the bed to myself the kind of work he did was quite manual and it meant sometimes really early starts and late finishes at night. These days though I still just can't comprehend that I am actually on my own and wake up in the mornings and do realise that he is not here. In the beginning I was `burning the midnight oil` and not going to bed until all hours usually 1 or 2 a.m. in the mornings but recently I have tried to start a bedtime routine where I try to go to bed that bit earlier cant really say if it has helped though I have some really vivid dreams about him sometimes and they feel so real but then I wake up and realise that's all it was just a dream. With the dark nights and darker mornings coming in too I am expecting it to get a little bit harder to get up and get moving but we'll see. You're not alone in this and best wishes to you moving forward. 

Vicky xx