My lovely husband was taken by lung cancer almost 11yrs ago. I used this forum back then for support when it first happened and will be forever grateful to the people who kept me going through that awful time.
I have spent the years trying to ‘live my best life’ going places, doing things I enjoyed .. while missing my husband every day. I tried to move on, I convinced myself seeing someone else was okay and that I was ready, truth is I wasn’t ready and it went nowhere. I’m now feeling like I threw myself into ‘trying too hard’ to get on with life and now I’m kind of lost in a world where every one moved on and everyone thinks I’ve moved on and I’m doing just fine where in reality I’m not fine. I feel like I’m still at the same point I was 11years ago! I think I didn’t let myself grieve properly (if that makes sense) so now I just live with my grief in silence. I don’t think we ever get over the loss of the love of our lives.
Anyone else here feel like this ? Or is it just me lol
Hi, think I was just having a wee moment !
I am comfortable with my own company, I surprised myself at how independent and capable I could be. Clearly was paying attention while helping hubby with DIY about the house as I’ve managed to do most of the maintenance myself, I know my limits though lol. I have family which are my world and I have lovely friends, but they have their own lives and I am not their responsibility which is how it should be 
I have my job and my cat I know I’m lucky, I understand some don’t have these things in their lives and I really appreciate what I do have. I am for the most part happy, I feel my hubby around me and that he is somehow looking after me which is comforting. I push myself to do things and go places and in general life is good.
Its just a feeling that comes over sometimes that I’m standing still and life is passing by. I think we grieve for the life we were supposed to have with our loved one.
