Heartbroken

So sorry to hear you have lost your partner, i can't imagine how you are feeling, try to focus on your happy times together, maybe get some counseling  it's sometimes good to talk to someone who you don't now, wishing you all the best

Thank you. It’s very hard. I go for counseling but it doesn’t help so far unfortunately. 

I have all that flashbacks my partner in pain. She suffered 2 years with lung cancer.

Thank you.

I am so sorry that you have had to go through all this. I would agree with Ugbug and really advise you to get grief counselling. What has happened is huge and you can't deal with all those emotions yourself. Counselling is a place to rage,  to cry and to talk about the person we have lost. It is exhausting and sometimes you will wonder if it is helping but it is. 

Sulubee

Everyone say that I need time…but every day I am getting worst instead feeling better. 

Thank you.

Hi Sonia!

It's early days for you and you will feel as you say you are. We have all been there. I have just past the one year milestone of losing my husband to bowel cancer last June. When he was here going through his final days I didn't want to be here either but I reached out to different resources and was glad I did because they helped me see that there are people I still need to be here for my son and his partner and my little grandaughter and my older sister who has also recently went through cancer treatment and also has learning difficulties.  I look as myself as the `glue` holding everyone else together just now. Yes counselling is not for everyone but please don't give up on it. There are the chat and phone lines here at MacMillan and they can put you forward for some phone counselling through Marie Curie. I had 6 free sessions of this and I found just having someone check in on me each week and just to chat really helped. There are other sources as well as the website CALM the text service SHOUT and Cruz Bereavment. I've used SHOUT and CALM and they are both good everything is completely anonymous and you don't have to give them your name or anything if you don't feel comfortable with that well I know SHOUT is anonymous can't remember about CALM but anything discussed will be confidential. I also used a helpline here in Scotland called Breathing Space and I have used the NHS24 Helplines also. You will get through this everyone grieves in different ways. I have done things in the last year I did not think I could possibly do on my own. My husband always told me that I would go on without him and told me I was the stronger one in our relationship. It does take time and just take your time you will feel days you just want to withdraw from everything. Some days I still wonder why I am getting out of bed but I have a little dog who needs walked and fed and he is my reason for having to do that. Some days I still just want to sit and `wallow` and other days I want to be up and at whatever it is I want to do for that day no days are the same. Take Care of yourself and my best wishes to you in moving forward as best you can. 

Vicky x

Thank you very much Vicky. Take care of yourself x