i don't know if i am. crying because she died or because i am left behind

I am so sorry for your pain. I wish I had some magic words or potion to lessen it. And of course, I know how you feel. My husband died on June 17th. All my best wishes to you.

Hi, I feel exactly the same. I lost my partner 3 months ago. I can’t stop crying. 

Take care 

I am so sorry for your loss. I am just over one year now since i lost my darling husband, and to be quite honest the pain for me is still as bad now as it was in the beginning. I just see an empty path ahead of me now he has gone, and like you feel I just want it to end. Take care of yourself

I am sorry for your loss. I don’t know what it will help us. I tried bereavement counselling but it didn’t work for me. It’s so hard. I feel lonely without my partner by my side. I have flashbacks my partner in pain. 

Thank you. Take care of yourself.

Hi Noteatingenough!

What you are feeling is normal. I am just almost 14 months in from losing my husband to bowel cancer last June. I still have days when I just want to withdraw from everything not go out or see anybody. Some days I feel I can `take on the world` and other days I just want to be left alone. I could never cry for my husband in the beginning and I thought that wasn't normal and something I should be doing but it would never happen. Just recently though I have been having small outbursts of crying and came to the realisation that this could be it happening now because when it does I feel so much better after it it's just as though I have been waiting on it to happen. Yes it's good to try to be busy or occupied I do that but sometimes the `empty feelings` are always there. Try to look after yourself too if you can and don't feel that you need to be `on the go` all the time give yourself time to rest. I can't say if it will gets easier everyone's grief journeys are different. Mine is I could say `very slightly` better. Like Dipsy I have just got over the milestone first year and hope everything can start to move forward. I'm still trying to find my `new me` after having someone by my side for 40 years she'll come to me eventually though-hopefully! Just try to take things a day at a time putting one foot in front of the other. It's all we can do. My best wishes to you moving forward. Take Care. 

Vicky x