Counselling ...

Hi Neofire welcome to the  forum. There are no words, so Im just going to say Im sending some huge big hugs your way for now.

Hi Neofire

I had my first bout of counselling about 8 weeks after my husband died in May last year.  That was my place to cry, get angry and try to make sense of what had happened. It really helped as I felt that someone was acknowledging how I was feeling and had time to listen, you don't always want to speak to family or friends about it.

About eight months later I was still in such a dark place so I contacted the counselling service through the hospice that had been such a support and started seeing a counsellor there. It was a different feeling as it was more to do with how I was coping then, I wasn't as angry but just so sad.

I guess my point is that counselling helps at whatever stage you are in, I have found that the differences between the services helped me. I am now seeing a therapist who is helping me take baby steps back into life so that I can start to function again, I still resist it on days that it just feels to much but there are better days now.

I hope that you find some release in talking to someone.

Take care

Sulubee

Thank you for taking the time to reply, I do think it will help, I've also been put in touch with OH at work who offer services to help.

I'm trying to get on board now before things get too dark.

Your story gives me a glimmer of hope, so thanks you

Thank you

Hello Neofire. My husband died on the 17th June. The palliative care team offered me some counseling and despite my scepticism I had my first session recently. Nearly two hours of venting, weeping and wailing. I don’t know where it all came from, but I know that, as well as feeing completely shattered afterwards, I also felt it did me a lot of good. I have another appointment in two weeks time as I feel like I only scratched the surface of all that’s inside me. Best wishes to you.

Hello Neofire 

Glad you have found your way back here. Have been watching your videos and had sensed that you were sometimes putting a very brave face on things. Quite understandable. You have already done so much and going to do so much more. Sarah is with you for always. It doesn't go away. I am two years and two months down the line, after Barry died.Still I cry, still I am lost and lonely. But it is different. I did have some counselling last year but it was a group session, so everyone had their story to tell and you weren't forced to speak if you didn't want to. As it was in French it was quite tiring, but I listened and sometimes I spoke. I found it helpful and I wrote things in a journal to get it all out.

I also went to a therapist called an energeticienne, who was wonderful. She worked with me for several months. I came out in a horrible red rash on my face which she said was anger coming out in this way on my face. By crying and talking to her, layers of the onion, as she called it, peeled off. Finding me again and being able to speak to her was hugely helpful. My face recovered too ! 

So yes I hope you get some help in that. Keep strong and keep playing the piano, that was marvellous !

Take care 

Big hugs 

Hey there,

Thanks so much for that, it gives me some hope! I am struggling, but I dont want the video stuff to be too depressing, trying to encourage others lol. 

I appreciate you supporting that journey, means the world to me, but ibrealise ive got a very long road ahead. Making the videos is a good experience mind you, ceryainky gives me a focus. 

thanks again and take care, much love to you xxxx

Hi Neofire!

Nice to see you back. I read you went to the Beatson. My husband was an inpatient at the Beatson in Glasgow a few times. I get what you mean not being able to cry. I have just got over the one year `milestone` of him passing last June after a 2 year fight with bowel cancer and it has just more or less hit me now. I have been a bit emotional over the last couple of weeks and crying a lot but to me it's a `release` that it is finally happening. Just feel that I haven't been able to grieve for him properly this last year plus though my older sister got a bowel cancer diagnosis just two months after Jay (my husband) passed. Her's was not as serious as Jay's though and they were able just to take her in and cut out her tumour which was quite small they said and there was no need for pre or post chemo or radiotherapy. She ironically had very early stage breast cancer 5 years ago and beat that also. However, recently she has had to go for a bone and CT scan they said it's only routine but hopefully that is all it is so fingers crossed. They didn't seem too concerned but you know how these tests can pick things up and now its all a bit unsettling for me again. My son's partner also lost her mother at the end of April this year also to cancer so it's following me around and just won't `do one`. Nice to see you one here for a wee `catch up`. Take Care and best wishes to you moving forward.