Recent loss of my partner

Hi Mark,

I feel and relate to your partners loss.

My Wife passed away on the 5th May from Breast Cancer aged 52.  Traumatic last couple of days in hospital watching someone you love pass.

My emotions are all over the place. This is by far the hardest time in my life. Tearful everyday. The memories, the items in the house, the last days in hospital, the last photo, the last words keep flooding back. It hits you in waves.

I have a daughter at home who I now am solely responsible for. Moving forward seems unclear.

I know our circumstances are different but the pain and grief are the same.

Take care.

Appreciate the message.  I can't stop looking at photos and treasuring those moments but then it flips to anger and frustration that we can't have more.  I hope both our futures can be clearer and with less pain, happier tears and things get as good as they can be.  

Friends and family have said in time you will adjust to a 'new normal', I know what they are trying to do and they are right but at the minute I don't want a new normal.  Can only hope that the funeral in August will help Celebrate her life as she wanted a celebration and she see's how much she was appreciated by many as she was blind to how good she was in work and in life.

Take care

Mark I don't know what to tell you I am 3months in and cry every day. I am crying now. I am not proud of it but please we strong for your and her family. You need them and they need you. More than ever before. 

Don't feel bad for crying each day, there isnt a day yet where I haven't and I asked a friend who lost her mum to Cancer and she said there isnt a right way or amount of time.  So each time I cry I know its because of how much I loved and appreciated her and that its not a weakness, it reassures me of how I still feel and always will.

The one thing I am determined to do is make Sam proud, complete her wishes and ensure her daughter and my own two children are ok, remember the impact she had on us all and never forget.

I know in time I will want to support Macmillan and everyone trying to find a cure for this horrible condition because its taking too many amazing and incredible people who had so much more to give.

Thank you for replying and take care, but please be proud of how you and all of us are dealing with things.  

Take Care 

Hi,

I had my wife’s funeral on the 7th June. Those first 4 weeks were filled with tasks you don’t want to do. Talking with funeral directors, letting people know, getting the death certificate. Even though it had to be done you just can’t believe you actually doing it. Is this really happening I asked my self. I keep asking her to come back, even today.

I spent the first couple of weeks organising the funeral. I wanted the best for my wife. It helped take my mind off the reality in one way but it also hurt in another way. The celebration was lovely in the church and I hope I did her proud.

After the funeral the pain is still there daily for me. Reminders everywhere.

I visited the grave 4 times last week.

The phone calls slowly become less. The txts become less. I feel very alone.

Waves of grief hit you. The smallest of things can set you off.

I keep remembering those last traumatic moments. How incredibly brave she was.

Those last words together.

Hello Mark

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss and your heartache. My heart goes out to you in your grief. My darling wife of 45 years passed away eight months ago. I am just getting through day by day. Someone once said that grief is the price of love.That is very true, as I now realise all too well. I find it some strange comfort to know that there are many others like us. I think all we can do is just get through day by day or sometimes hour by hour. I’m in Newark and have lovely friends and neighbours but so often I just want to be quiet and on my own.There is no way that life can prepare us for all this.there is no right or wrong way to go about it.I so wish I could say something more of comfort to you and so many others.all I can do is to send you my heartfelt thoughts and best wishes

Our partners were absolute warriors! Inspiring and is mentioned in what I will say at her funeral, or her 'Away Day' as she wants it to be known.  I am under no illusion that the pain will ease after this and as I want to make sure our family home gets completed of her and my wishes I know the reminders will be there...will just hope it helps, but until it happens and I know everyone is different I have just to wait and see.

Solidarity with everyone who feels like this

Thanks for replying, I have actually found coming onto the forum and writing as helpful, reading others posts and there is a common theme that is always supportive and understanding.  

I hope you're ok as can be and send my best wishes and thoughts to you also