Newly widowed and I can’t stop crying

I lost my husband 8 months ago but I struggled to cry apart from the odd few tears in the first 2 months . Looking back I can see now I was totally numb and in some kind of denial. Roll on 2 months and the floodgates opened and I really understood what the word heartbroken really meant , after about 6 weeks of crying at everything and anything I was persuaded by a family member to start walking and swimming with them. It really did help me. I still have a few tears most days , random things will just set me off but I just let the tears flow and then I’m ok again. 

It’s very early days for you and remember we all grieve in our own way and in our own time . I was with my husband since we were both 18 and married for 41 years so I understand how you feel when you say how you feel like half of you is missing and I also just wanted to be with him but slowly I am getting stronger and have started to make some progress in the right direction and the really bad days are becoming less frequent. 

There are some lovely people on this forum , so never feel that you are alone. 

Sending hugs x

Hi Iceberg!

I was in your position exactly 12 months ago. I have been unable to cry much for my husband which I find really odd because when he was in his final days and going through his treatment I thought I would never stop.  He fought his bowel cancer for almost 2 years. Grief has no time limit and people deal with it in different ways people can get over it and learn to live with it in a few months for others it can take a few years but some just don't get over losing a loved one. Please remember if you feel you need to, to contact the helplines here at Macmillan who will help you through this. I have reached out to a few organisations in the last year here being one of them. I had six free counselling sessions with Marie Curie organised here through MacMillan. Just having someone check in with you each week  to find out how you are helped a lot just having someone who understood helped a lot. My best wishes to you going forward. 

Vicky x

So sorry you need to be here. 

I cried every day for well over a year . I too slept on the settee but one night it just popped into mind that the bed would be more comfortable. 

There's no quick and easy way to get through the pain and loss. 

Take care 

Greetings Iceberg,

I am so sorry for your loss.  I understand and feel the pain.  My husband died 10 May.  I have never cried so much, and it hasn’t stopped.  All through my day, I am continually talking to him, longing for his presence, his company, his knowledge.  I wonder how I can manage without him.  I too find sleeping harder.  Like you, we slept in separate beds but at least he was nearby and there.  Like your husband, he didn’t want to disturb me.  Now I have a horrible time getting to sleep.  If I get 2 hour stretch of sleep, I’m doing well.  I often wake up and cry.

I have no family here … all in US (and I haven’t been there since before covid and then husband’s terminal prognosis).  Likewise I don’t have any friends, at least not locally, some acquaintances.  So I am on my own, no partner, no companionship.  I’ve gone for walks, I talk to him, wish he were there.  He knows so much about birds, nature and wildlife.

I’m sorry you too have to travel this cruel and lonely path.  At least here, there are many others who are dealing with the same thing.

WildBird