Hello everyone
Just wanted to write a bit today and get a few things off my chest ! Some good things some not so. Barry died two years ago on the 30th May, after a long battle with Cancer . Where has the time gone ? From the first days and weeks of sorting out things, administration and blind terror at being left alone, it continued into this last year. Dealing with grief, in all its forms, not textbook style either, anger, guilt, fear, depression, in no order and with no time limit either. Just one day at a time, even one hour, is all we can do. At first people where there for me, and neighbours helped too, but that has significantly changed, even just in the last months.I live in a smallish village in the Dordogne, and we all pretty much know everyone. In fact I know 12 widowers locally, all older than me, but they all have families and some money, mostly.So what have I learnt throughout all this ? Mainly, to trust yourself and to know how and when to do things as you wish to do them. I have managed to do things that Barry used to do ie Internet, passwords and electricity ! Took time though .When to ask for help is a big one. too. I hate to ask, but found usually people, or else the ones that have remained !!!!! were happy to be asked.
What do I miss the most of this sometimes lonely life ?
Hand holding, going up the road to the local Cafe for a glass or two of wine.
A kiss is what I miss.
Someone intelligent to speak to !!!!! Barry was amazing. Had been all around the world as a photographer/ journalist.
The humour. From Glasgow of course, a right good howl at something so off the wall. Even in difficult circumstances he could be funny.
Well, there we are for the moment. It helps to write things down. I write a journal most days, and look back at just how far I have come without realizing it ?
I write a monthly blog too on www.glasgowwestend.co.uk Entitled Fifi's stories from rural France. This month there will be a little tribute to Barry. X
