Bad day

Thank you so much for this, I really appreciate it

It’s so helpful and comforting to be able to share emotions with other people. Kindest regards

Greetings Lexis, 

I sadly joined this group yesterday, as my husband died around midnight Thursday/Friday, recorded as Friday 10 May 2024 at 00:05.  Thus my pain and numbness is new and raw.  I am beginning to read through others posts.  I saw your and wanted to let you know I read your words, I understand your pain and questions.  With this message, I am projecting my love and compassion to you as we navigate this horrible path.

WildBird

Hi Lexis!

Welcome to this forum though It's somewhere where I'm sure the majority of us don't want to be. Sorry for the loss of your husband. I am only weeks away from the first anniversary of my husband's passing on the 23rd June 2023. Like yourself, although to me he passed on the 23rd his passing wasn't officially confirmed until after midnight that day going into the 24th but to me he passed on the 23rd so that's when I tell people he passed. He fought bowel cancer for almost 2 years at one time going into remission but only for it to return and take him the second time. I am still finding it hard to comprehend he is gone and there are still the dark days and weeks but they come and go. Some days you will wonder why you are actually getting out of bed and no matter how busy or occupied to try to keep yourself, that empty feeling doesn't leave you. Well it doesn't for me but then everyone is different in how they deal with their grief. Counselling will help if you feel you might need it. You can ask about it here. I had 6 free counselling sessions with Marie Curie arranged here with MacMillan. It was good just to have someone phone you maybe once a week to check in on how you are. Just being able to talk to and offload to someone who understands really helped. I've just more or less tried to accept this is me now on my own. It can be hard at times though having to try to navigate life on your own after having someone at your side for 40 years but I'm trying to find a `new me`. I am someone who quite enjoys their own company so I'm ok there. I have an older sister who I am a carer for. She had learning difficulties but lives independently in sheltered housing accomodation not far from where I am I am practically within walking distance from her. I also have a son who lives a short distance from me with his partner and their little girl so I get roped in a good bit in occasionally looking after my little granddaughter. My son's partner just lost her own mother a few weeks ago also to cancer and my sister also got a bowel cancer diagnosis two months after my husband passed but she is ok she went in last October and got the tumour removed- which was luckily very small also they were able to cut it out and she did not need to have chemo or radiotherapy treatment will just need regular check ups. Yes this is a horrible journey we are all on but hopefully as they say `time is a healer`. My best wishes to you moving forward. Take Care. 

Vicky x

Vicky, Thank you for sharing your love and support.  You too obviously are dealing with similar loss and struggles … longer than I, for sure.  Sadly most of us have complex and painful paths to follow.  So much is happening, yet so little in other ways.  Just earlier, I got date for funeral … still not until June.  I am a bit numb and overwhelmed now, though I saw and read your message.  Your words of kindness and understanding help a great deal.  I feel so alone, and I have no family here and few friends, though I have been getting excellent support in some unexpected ways.  Thank you again.  I will continue to share as time and energy permit.  Lots of love and hugs.  In memory of my husband (as well as yours and many others who lose spouse and/or loved ones), from his WildBird.