Persistent Grief

I am sorry to hear of your loss. My husband died 8 months ago of glioblastoma. The loneliness is one of things i also find the hardest. the person you would always turn to is no longer there, to talk to, to watch tv with, to go out with, to hold their hand, I just think of the future as nothing anymore even though i have met some nice people who are in the same situation, it can never get better. 

Hi Dipsy!

I echo everything you say. The slience sometimes can be `deafening`. Jay and I always had a laugh together constantly ripping the p*** out of each other stuff like that. There are programmes on TV we would watch together and I find it very strange to watch these on my own now. There is no one there now to give second opinions on something and so anything I want to do now is all down to me and if I make a `pigs ear` of it then it's my fault. So many plans we had for the future now they have all gone and now making a life for myself sometimes feels that bit overwhelming but all I can do is just take things a day at a time for now. Take Care.

xx

Hi Dipsy21 and PattyK,

Sorry to hear about your loss.  What you say sounds so familiar.  It's the evenings for me I find the hardest, I can't watch programmes my wife and I used to watch together.  This is triggering for me.  Going food shopping together is something I also really miss.  Its the simple things.  

As a man there's been lots of washing disasters I tell you, thrown away nice curtains all ruined.  

Lastly, I have noticed subtle changes in family/friends dynamics over time.  There is much less interaction, they include you less in activities.  My wife's family in particular.  Funny that.  Kind of compounds the loneliness.  

Hi Jebel!

I get the `family exclusion` thing. I very seldom hear from Jay's remaining direct family members at all now. All that were left of his direct family are his two nephews ( his brother and his wife have both passed on as have his mum and dad). Jay and his brother were never really that close anyway but after Jay's funeral I did say to his nephews I still consider them as `family` and to keep in touch but of course they have their own families and are busy- well that's my excuse but one of their wives seems to splash all over Facebook what they are doing where they are going or have been and they come into Glasgow a lot where I am (they live just outside Glasgow) but never seem to want to drop by. I get the odd phone call and the `we'll get through to see you` but never happens so when that gets said I just take it with a pinch of salt. Think this just happens in all families though. I'm the reverse in trying to see how I do `man things` like looking after the car and doing odd repairs around the house etc. My son has told me though that if I need anything done like that if I'm not sure to call on him. Looking after his mum.