Saying hello

Hello Vicky 

I have just read in another post you live in Glasgow. My home town ! And Barry's too. It was just a nice connection to me and I wanted to tell you. Thank you for your last posting on what we now do/ not do without them. The loneliness is pretty awful some days. I read just recently of trying to find the good things even small, that just help a bit. Each day is a new one. For me this little connection  with Glasgow has cheered me. I haven't been back in 14 years now, and had actually thought maybe it's time to pay a little visit. Another step along our difficult journey, eh ?

Hugs to you

Small world Fifi!

Whereabouts in Glasgow did you live? I live on the southside. When Jay and I first got married we bought a brand new flat  in the East End. We stayed there for 3 years then moved back to a 4 in a block on the southside where I am now. 

xx

Hello there 

Good to hear from you ! I am from the South side, Newton Mearns, then we moved to the West End of Glasgow ! Where I met Barry and lived before we came to France in 2000.

Just back from a horrid hospital visit. Urinary infection now, plus achy knee plus my wonderful pink face !

Reminded me of all the times I accompanied Barry to all these hospitals ? Whew, it was hard sometimes.

I would give anything just to have him back .

Hugs to you fellow Scot. We are strong !

Ah Newton Mearns. One of the `posh bits' of the city as is the West End. I grew up in the scheme- Castlemilk lived there until I was 23 then Jay and I got married and got a new build flat in Bridgeton in the East End stayed there for 3 years then moved to Croftfoot (aka the bottom end of Castlemilk) where I am now. Croftfoot was classed as `posh` at one time I believe but not so now I think. A lot of houses that go up for sale here now usually end up being buy-to-lets but even when they do get bought people don't stay long. Most of my neighbours who were here when I moved here have all either moved or passed on which is a shame and the new ones that come in don't really want to know you and keep to themselves but think that's just the way of things these days. Yes i get you with the hospital visits I've had my fill of them for now I think between all the times I had to go with Jay and then after with my sister. She continues to get stronger each day which is a good thing but so bittersweet for me because Jay didn't make it. Yes as they say about us here in Scotland like the `national drink` Irn Bru we're made from `girders`. Take Care. 

XX

Just saying hello because your words meant a lot to me. My partner died on 21st February and it seems like no time at all since I was in the other cancer forum group too  - getting advice about treatments and hearing so many upbeat stories of people who made incredible recoveries. Perhaps like you those groups give me a sense of being a team with my husband as the advice and resources was incredibly useful to him and it felt we were battling the disease (oesophagus cancer) together.

There is a terrible loneliness now after his passing because of having  been so involved in battling with someone to live longer  - talking together about the sort of intimate details about another person's body from every temperature reading and bowel movement - that naturally is surreal and also isolates you further from everyone else around you. My partner was only 53 and had been performing dance (his life-long profession) the day he came in to hospital so was really young, fit, dashingly handsome, and we both never imagined him passing no matter what the doctor's said. They ran out of antibiotics as he became resistant to them - he was still strong, alert and desperate to live.

Hopefully we both take solace that in this terribly short life we were loved, we loved someone, and we shared that beautiful human connection with someone (despite us all being such selfish and flawed mortals). In this world of today, when you read the newspapers or see the news, it does seem magic that two individuals can have such deep love for one another. The price we pay now is hard but so incredible that we did take time to love another individual in this vast and busy world and that person loved us back.

I have read more poetry than ever (poems are short) and found that helpful and just trying to sleep a lot and eat well. Looking after my body so it can be of better help to my soul, heart and mind.

Take care xx

Bless You Florence!

Oh how sad your partner was only 53. My husband was 69 just missed his 70th birthday which would have been last month (February) yes it can get very lonely and sometimes the `silence can be deafening` I'm still adapting to finding a `new me` a new life on my own after 40 years and this is what I say to people when they ask how I am I just tell them I'm still adapting. It's been 9 months almost since Jay passed it has gone so quick but has seemed so long at the same time. Been a very long winter this year. I have past a lot of `firsts` without him so got through them ok and I think there may be another few just to come but I think I'll get by them as I have done with the rest. I have my son and his partner and my little granddaughter who live not far from me so they keep me going. My sister lives not far from me she has learning disabilities and relies on me for some things. It's just trying to find things to keep you occupied every day. Take Care and my best wishes to you moving forward. 

Vicky xx