Blogging to help with mental health

Hi :) 

Work, for me was actually one of things that really saved me (along with mounting biking and paddle boarding with my boys).  But,  it was a whole new career starting from scratch. Everything was so new and exciting, and still is almost three years on.  It was something that I really wanted to do and doesn't at all feel like work.  I would recommend a similar change to anyone if they can make it happen.  I never thought I would go on to do what I do now,  but I've never looked back.  

I really hope works goes well for you, perhaps the new faces and new routines will help you in the same way it helped me. 

Thank you to everyone who has responded to my post,  sorry it's taken me a while to respond.  I was somewhat overwhelmed by your responses and so pleased that what I've been though seemed to resonate with you too. Whilst it's an awful situation, it's nice to know that you're not alone and other people are treading the same path at the same time as you.  I really wish everyone all the best and if there is anything I can contribute to help people I'll try my very best.

Carl 

xx

Thanks, I’m hoping work saves me too, and as you said, doing things with the kids helps, they’ve coped surprisingly well. I don’t know what I would have done without them. I have three dogs and do lots of walking, it’s such good therapy.

I may have left it a little late to start a new career, so will see how this one goes for now. Great that you’ve managed to find something you love.

Hi Carl, Just read the start of your blog. I’m current caring for my husband (58) in end stage liver cancer at home with the support of a local hospice etc. Yesterday was really tough. He’s nearly bedridden and was being sick, yet refusing the medication that would help him. He’s currently cross with me for keeping on at him about taking the pills. In the early hours of the morning I was in despair, I thought I couldn’t go on and needed him taken to the hospice. Now with the daylight and birdsong (coming down my chimney!), I feel stronger. I’ve decided to try and call a truce with him over the medication. It has to be his choice. He wants to die at home and I know I will regret not doing that for him.

Tomorrow is 40 years since our first date. We’re so lucky to have had that time together. Not many couples have that. We’ve so many wonderful memories. He’s been very thoughtful recently. He bought me a beautiful bracelet for this up coming anniversary and has spent hours putting all our photos into digital albums to share across the family. When I look at them I realise what a wonderful , fun and loving 40 years we’ve had. The odd cross word will not take that away. 

Thank you for your blog. I’ll read more when I’m ready. Take care and enjoy seeing your children grow.

M

Hi

Hello

Your post resonated with me. About refusing the medication and the cross words sometimes.

I had that a lot with Barry, but he didn't mean a lot of his refusals and bad temper ? He was in such awful pain all the time. He was at home with hospital care, but sometimes at night he was worse and wanted to end it all. He didn't, and was very brave right up to the end where he died peacefully in hospital. Forget the cross words and simply BE in the moment. 40 years like me too.Very happy memories too. Good luck. Take care of yourself.

Its really hard. I lost my husband a year ago. I have terminal cancer and drinking to much

Hello Carl,

Thank you for sending the link to your blog. It's very interesting and I like the way that you use it to think through feelings about how your life has changed but also about how your life now is still linked so closely to the life you had before Beth died. I have written many mornings since my wife Caro was diagnosed with lung cancer two years ago and died one year ago. I find it helpful, as you do, to be able to write down how I feel and be able to step back to look at it. 

The thing that I find, and that comes out in what you write, is that no matter how strong our feelings are that the person we loved is so alive to us in our memories, there is that inevitable growing 'No man's land' between the time they died and now. And even though they have been right there with us in our hearts, they haven't lived through that growing land in the same way. And there are memories which they can never know about, to go with all the ones that we shared. And that is both sad and sort of comforting as well. They can share in all the past times but they have to let us walk the present as a new path that only our feet tread (even if we bring all the memories with us)

Good luck to you and the boys, and thank you for sharing this with us.