Couples: I Feel Awful

Hello WDJ 

How well I know it. It upsets me a lot too. Every time. In company recently with two married couples all laughing away and I thought, you don't know how lucky you are ? However, one of them had chest pains a few days later and was rushed to hospital. Luckily he is fine but his wife broke down to me on waiting results from the hospital. In France, where she doesn't understand all the language so I helped. That was scary for them. It makes you think. Take each moment as precious.How hard it is though. The tugs and reminders of our loved ones are very powerful. 

I am just trying to find me again ? Living alone isn't so bad, for me anyway. May change my mind , who knows ? Do what you think is right, in answer to your other post. Only you can tell now.

Take care 

I hear you. Its so cruel to deal with. I see other couples, (and I especially feel this when they are not such nice people) and I think, why didnt this happen to you, why us. I know that is awful because I wouldnt wish this on anyone. It just hurts so much.

Hello I have just been referred to this site. My husband passed away 7 weeks ago and Yes I feel the same seeing other couples enjoying life together which is where we should be. I have started bereavement counselling not sure what I expect to get from it but will give it a go. Evenings are the worst on your own and dreading the long winter nights. pleased it’s not just me feeling like this

Helen

Hi Helen, its 7 weeks for me too, its tough isn't it? I am going to a bereavement group next week, hoping it will help. xxx

Just collected his ashes yesterday and placed them on his bedside table so had a little chat lastnight in bed. I’ve had his birthday, then Father’s Day and this Sunday it’s my birthday then our wedding anniversary. Been together 52 years so feeling a bit lost now. How are you doing?

Helen

Some days are better than others, the grief just suddenly appears from nowhere when you think you are doing ok, sometimes its overwhelming and takes your breath away. We were together 32 years, it all happened so fast. She started losing a lot of weight in december, 3 months later she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Sometimes it doesnt feel real. Do you have family to support you? I agree, the evenings are the worst time, I am just trying to hang on to the thought that better days will come. xx

Yes 12 weeks from start to finish for my husband, daughter and family have been fantastic but our son is receiving palliative care too so I too have good days and bad ones. Still feel like numb and in shock that this has happened

Helen

1. Hi wdj I think it is the one thing that plunges that knife through my heart when I think I'm having a not so bad day ,just had a week in Spain with my daughter because I was actually thinking of selling up and leaving this non existence of a life but you are surrounded by thousands of happy couples doing what happy couples do and it just brings the feelings of utter despair straight back up and I don't know if I could live like that but to be honest wherever you are you are not going to feel any different are you so I might just bite the bullet and go for it ,I never thought I'd be so scared of the future but I am without Lynne to help make decisions and put me right when I make a bad one                                best wishes terry 

Hi Tellin,

The should I sell the house question is one that makes my head go around in circles. I've decided to go 'half way' and rent it out short term. I'm nearer family and 'old' friends again just now but I'm already not that convinced it's long term either.

Your last comment really resonates at the moment as I too am lost with decision making as well. Every one I dwell over and think is it the best one to make. It's ironic as the only person a decision really now impacts upon is me - but not having that other opinion is still tough to take.

I feel that I've just drifted along through the last year and often wonder that that may be how I'll just approach the future. I'm not sure that I really want to settle anywhere any more. Only time will tell I guess.

Take care,

WDJ

Hello Torry.

I like your name. 

Sorry to hear that your son is very ill too.