Lost my soulmate this morning

Hi 

So sorry to read your post.. new people to this site means yet another loved one has been taken by the cruelness that is cancer. Leaving families to grieve their loss and the unfairness of it.

My husband was also 54 when he passed away two years ago. I wish I had some magic words of advice on how to cope but sadly there is nothing that makes the pain and shock go away during the initial weeks and months. Time doesn't heal the awfulness of it all but it does get easier to cope with grief, you will learn to live with your loss and heart break.

Initially you will experience the pain, tears, loneliness, anger and utter numbness where you can hardly function. Sheer exhaustion as your body tries to cope with the physical and emotional demands.

Then as the months pass the inevitable anniversary dates serve as reminders of happier days... the birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas to name a few.

Don't shut your feelings off from others, talk often about your loved one, remember all the good times of laughter and happiness. Then gradually you will find you can think about your partner without the constant tears, let your children know they can also laugh and smile as they recall good memories.. it all helps towards learning to move forward on your new path in life. 

It is not an easy path and sadly there are no short cuts to ease the pain... But you will get through it, just remember to be kind to yourself and go at your own pace.

My thoughts are with you

Mym x

Hi. I’m so sorry that you’ve found yourself in this horrible situation but pleased that you have found yourself this amazing support club. None of us ever wanted to be members but now that we are I hope that you’ll be able to get some comfort from knowing that we are all in this together and here to support each other. 
I lost my hubby in October 2021.

All I can say to you is the same thing that had been said to me many times. Grief is not linear. After the initial inertia that you’re probably feeling the grief will come in waves.

After the first few months I thought I was “coping” but last  Christmas I had a massive (emotional) crash and wound up  reaching out for counselling. I’m pleased to say that it has helped. I had 7 sessions and I think it helped me to put things in perspective, gave me coping mechanisms, made me realise that there will be days when I’m heartbroken and days where I can live  a life. It’s a very different life but I know I need to do this for Dave. His biggest fear was that I would give up after he was gone. 
It’s still really hard and I know that missing Dave will never go away. He was my forever and is still my forever. Now I just take him with me in my heart and in my head. 
Just do whatever you can to get yourself and your children through it.

Take care and make sure to come here when etc you need to let the emotions out - whatever they are. We’ve all been through them and know what you are going though  

Jillian x 

Thank you Mym. I don’t feel like a person anymore without him. It’s like the best part of me has been roped away.

I feel like I’m functioning for those around me. Getting dressed,doing boring jobs, having conversations with friends. I’m not really there anymore. It all feels so bleak x

Thank you Jillian. I know I’ll never be the same without him. I need to be there for my 2 children who are barely adults. It seems so overwhelming. I find myself just sat like a statue for ages. I don’t know how to be, and I feel so sick that I can’t be their dad for them. He was so lovely, the best dad. They both had such good relationships with him. It’s destroying me that we won’t see him again x