Loss of my wife

Hi Andrew b

I’m Steph from the Community team, I hope you don’t mind me posting here whilst you’re waiting for members to reply.

It was positive to hear that you’ve had a lovely weekend with the family. It’s understandable that some parts felt really difficult for you but hopefully you also found some comfort from good memories.

I hope you’re finding it helpful to be able to share your experiences in the Community and talk to people who understand.

I read that you’d been to a therapist recently and I hope that’s also been helpful. If you feel like you might benefit from further support, there’s lots of help available to you. Macmillan have some information here about coping and adapting after loss. If you’d like to talk anything through with us, Our Support Line teams are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat.

‘Ataloss’ is a website that helps bereaved people find support and wellbeing.

Cruse provide bereavement support and are here to help, however long you have been grieving.

I hope this helps show that you’re not alone and that there is a lot of support available for you. Please do keep sharing your feelings on the Community and reach out for further support whenever you need it.

Please do get back in touch with us if you have any questions or would like to speak to us privately around your support needs. You can email us at community@macmillan.org.uk or send a private message (PM) to Moderator - Macmillan Community 

Take care,

Oh Andrew.....I'm heartened to read you have lovelyvfamily support and they are right, you must let it out.....that big old wave of grief hits when you least expect it....I was stood in Tesco this morning, when one hit me and I felt like I wasn't there....we have to be kind to ourselves

Take care

Than you very much for contacting me 

Hi Andrew b,

Yes, we do need to try and do these things and go to places which were so much of our past.

I have a few emotional visits in the near future to places that meant so much to us both, particularly on the first year anniversary.

I'm glad you managed to get something from this recent experience.

Take care,

WDJ

Hi Andrew b,

It is so good to have family support and it is positive that you are going to places that were special to both of you. The first time I went back to somewhere special to us, Cromer in Norfolk, it was with my daughter and grandchildren. It did feel odd at times and quite emotional but I look on it as making new memories in a special place with those who are special to me now.

I often post on Facebook about trips we went on and I always try to look at them positively and remember what a great time we had together.

Obviously there are days when I feel emotionally low and I do still cry, but 1½ years into this journey they are usually caused by a trigger like a birthday or anniversary. It was Lin's birthday earlier in the month and I did feel quite low and cried a few times because she wasn't here to celebrate it with me. My daughter, a trained florist, made a lovely floral tribute which we took to the church and placed on Lin's grave. The day after I went to Edinburgh with my daughter and grandchildren, and this was such a lovely short break and new memories were made, but I still wished she was here to enjoy it with us.

Take care and stay strong.

Derek

Thanks it's coming up a to a year since she died not looking forward to it, I'm taking the day of so I can spend some time with her, I will be all by myself so I don't know how I'm going to feel andope miss her so much