Anxiety increased after bereavement

Hi Knittingnanny

I get how you feel. I started with anxiety when I hit the perimenopause and whilst it’s mostly “under control” with medication and CBT I do find that some days since losing my hubby it is really intense  

It’s still very early days for you since you lost your hubby. I’ve found that the best way to deal with it is to take it one day at a time - and if that’s too much break it down to getting though the next hour - and then the next. Thinking about all the days weeks months years that lay ahead without my hubby is just too much so  I just don’t.   
I’ve found that grief comes in waves (it’s 14 months since I lost Dave). Some days I can cope and others I’m drowning. I’ve decided now that when I feel like that I’m going to embrace it as I think that it helps to let it all out sometimes. And if I don’t want to go out then I’m not going to. Anyone that says you’ve got to “force yourself “ can go and take a running jump. 
I hope that as time goes in your en with eases or at least you’ll have the odd , slightly less anxious day 

Taje care x 

Dear Jillybean74

thank you so much for taking the time to reply. xx

Hello Knitting nanny 

Yes, I have been feeling the same too. Particularly at this moment. 7 months nearly since Barry died, and sometimes I just want to give up.

But I won't. As Jillybean rightly says, one day at a time. Even one baby step is ok too. Yesterday, I had a bit of a "wobbly " don't know where or how it was triggered. Probably several things, and a build up had me weeping in a corner. Felt better after all was released. Don't hold back. Better out than bottlng it up? I was supposed to go out to a Christmas concert, but decided no. Didn't want to meet anyone either.

Better sometimes just on my own with my little cat, who comes to check on me! 

As regards the waking up and feeling of dread? Yes I know it too. Force myself to get up, but it is so cold ....not sleeping well and start worrying about things during the night. All magnifies to such a degree I have to get up. Tired the next day. Must try not to worry and take another baby step if I can. If I can't well that's fine too. The right we have now to decide when and if we can do something 

Take care of yourself. Big hug.

Dear Fifinet

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply.   Both you and Jillybean have really helped me with what you have said.  Big hugs to you both x

Hi Jillybean 

just wanted to say you and Fifinet have helped me so much with what you have said.  Big hugs to you both xx

Thanks for sharing jellybean74
I too have extreme anxiety and I'm perimenopausal, it was all under control or well hidden not sure which for the last 12 months while my Hubby was diagnosed and then passed in October this year - then all of a sudden, bam! Hit my like a steam train!
saw the GP yesterday and while she can prescribe me something (not that I really want pills) as she said, what I'm feeling in regards to anxiety with the grief as well as the M thing is normal, like you mentioned, break it down and face an hour at a time - I pushed myself to go out on my own yesterday and whao, I wanted to abandon my basket in the supermarket and run for the hills home. I actually did in the end and feel rubbish today and annoyed at myself for forcing it - too much too soon.

Knittynanny - I also think my anxiety has been worse the last week - maybe because everywhere you turn, put the TV n or radio its all about Christmas and happy families - making my tummy do summersaults even thinking about it!

Big hugs, deep breaths and one baby step at a time ( I actually find walking my dogs now its freezing cold without a hat on clears my head a little, teeny bit)  Mindfulness walking taking in every leaf, looking at the frost sparkle like glitter - helps ground me a little too xxxx

Thank you, Claireh, for replying, while your grief is still so raw.  The anxiety is awful isn’t it, so debilitating.  Yes, big hugs, deep breaths and baby steps.  Your Mindfulness comment is so helpful.

xxx