Andy's home!

Bless your heart.

I collected my beloved Chris' ashes on 11 November, just two weeks after the funeral. When I saw the beautiful ashes casket I knew he would have been proud of what I'd had made for him - a black casket decorated with his beloved NFL teams logo, Las Vegas Raiders.

The funeral home also kindly split some of the ashes into two small scatter jars so when I'm ready I can take him with me and scatter in our favourite place. Chris had ordered me a locket into which some of ashes are stored so I've always got him close.  I haven't been able to wear it yet - it's too upsetting. The funeral company offered to do that for me and I was so grateful for that.

Chris made me promise that I would scatter part of him at the Raiders stadium - it will break my heart to go to Vegas without him physically being with me. I'm in no rush to fulfill the promise but I know I will one day.

Between the funeral and collecting the ashes it felt like I had lost him all over again and once he was home I felt comforted. I talk to him all the time, I just wish I could hear him respond - I miss his voice so much.

You will know what to do in time. There is no rush to do anything.

Sending blessings to you xx

Claireh,

That does sound like a very big shock to be handed the ashes just like that.

I remember how I was going to collect them. To be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect. To be handed a bag, similar to a bottle bag, with what was a very sensitively chosen, by them, cylindrical box with beautiful image of a loch and rainbow was just overwhelming. I remember thinking, as I walked out the door, I'm literally carrying my beautiful wife and soulmate in a bag! I can't imagine your experience.

I too had very clear thoughts about where the ashes were being cast - on a beach which means much to us. However, I cannot let them go. I talk to them every day and they remain in the house. I guess I will do it someday but, just now, that time is a long way off. I cannot let them go!

To answer your question how do you (we) know what to do? I think it's like everything else we have experienced, there is no right nor wrong. We do what we think is best at that particular moment and hope we have no regret in the future.

Thinking of everyone.

Take care,

WDJ

Hi

i think that’s a bit poor of the undertaker to just show up with them.  When Daves were ready they called me and said to just go when I felt ready and that there was no rush. They also put them into two scatter tubes that I had bought. A large one to scatter (which I did months later in our special place in the Lake District) and a smaller version that will stay with me forever. 
Take your time to decide what feels right for you to do. There is no right or wrong. Don’t put pressure in yourself to do anything until you are ready. 
Take care 

Jillian x