Hello everyone,
I haven't been here in so long. I am aware that we have many new members, and I would like to take this opportunity to express my heart-felt condolences on the loss of your partners. I have been a member of this forum for more than 4 years and can tell you that it has been a tremendous help, so here is hoping it will be that for you too!
I wanted to pop in today to give an update.
I have been in Germany now since the middle of September.
On 6th October, my dad died after his long struggle with Dementia and Parkinson's. My mum and I were with him when it happened. Seven days before, my dad had been released from hospital back to the nursing home and we had decided that he would only receive palliative care and not, as the doctors had suggested, have a PEG (feeding tube) as this would most likely only have prolonged his suffering and because he had expressed on so many occasions that he no longer wanted to live. I think I was a good support to my family during those final days of my dad's life thanks to my extensive Doula training.
Apart from organising my dad's funeral, I spent much of October preparing for my job at the hospital and looking for an opportunity to do my nursing training. I also went to two networking events organised by the hospice network in this area. So I was quite busy.
On 15th November, I started my new job on the palliative care ward of a well-known and very busy hospital not far from where I live. It is a wonderful job. Most of our patients come to us with end-stage cancer. My oldest patient is 81, my youngest patient is currently 50. The doctors and nurses are great; we are a wonderful team. I feel so "at home" in the place. I still remember how often I have talked on this forum about wanting to work in a hospital environment and how disappointed I was when this wish didn't come true in Ireland; and I still can't believe that it has come true now.
My new relationship is going well. Hugo - 45 years old, so 5 years older than me, from Serbia and a carer in the nursing home where my dad was - is really a lovely man. I know that Paul will always remain THE ONE for me, my soul mate and best friend, but I can honestly say that I have very strong feelings for Jugo and know that we are very happy together. I am so happy to have found love again. He is not living far from my mum and me so we are seeing a lot of each other, but not too much. He knows all about Paul and his illness and that's really good.
I am sending all of you so much love. I will try and come in more often again and hoping to be able to be of support to you all, especially those newly bereaved. You mightn't be able to see this now, but you will get better with time, you will be able to learn to live with your loss and learn to smile again.
Lots of love
Mel
Mel I'm sorry for the loss of your dad and all credit to you and your mum on caring for him together 
your Doula training will certainly have helped during that time.
It's lovely that you've met someone as caring as you are. I hoped it was working out for you, it's a long time since you last posted about meeting Jugo
and I feel it's still a good thing not to be too intense too soon.
Sending you a hug 
x
