Christmas Is Coming!

Morning Wildcat

You are so right no future without our soulmate

dont want one just want my Paul back

yes look to the moon

we are all in pain

take care

xx

Hello Wildcat

Resonates with me. Me and my cat for a quiet Christmas. Will make a nice meal and enjoy some wine probably.

Sooner it is all over though?

Big hugs to all today

I had a wobble today in public. The first one really.

I was walking around a local, and national, well known store and when hit the ladies' clothes section fell to pieces. It just hit me that I wouldn't be in next month to look for something I thought might be worn.

I've had varying degrees of success choosing clothes over the years but my it just hit me in the face that I wouldn't be doing this this year. It really got to me.

It's strange how these feelings come in the places we perhaps least expect. This was hard to take. 

I don't like to swear, but sometimes feel it's necessary. This is shit. And we are all having to live with this 

Take care everyone.

WDJ

Hi wdj because Lynne struggled walking I did the shopping so now I go to the supermarket probably once every one or two weeks and I really dont act normal ,I see things Lynne liked and ask her in a quite normal voice if she wants some and things I got her regularly I can start crying just looking at them, and I really don't care if I get strange looks, but the daftest thing I do and I can't help it ,morrisons play music and I  sing along quite loud especially if Lynne liked the song or if it is a love song and it makes me emotional, at the end of the day normal is now not normal, love and best wishes to all

Tellin,

Thanks for making me feel normal. 

Funny thing is when I'm in the supermarket I always go to the Free From section and buy something. I feel a sense of comfort there and tend to buy something I'd have got not for myself.

It's a strange world we now live in.

Take care,

WDJ

WDJ, I buy all the things Andy liked and I really didn’t along with some random things I would never have ever bought as I walk about in a daze!

would it be wrong to buy my Andy a Christmas card? I never got chance to buy a Christmas card or any card for that matter that says ‘to my husband’ as he passed away just 18 days after we married in September this year!

There is nothing normal about this life we now live, nothing will ever be the same again.
This week I’ve been really angry that the world outside our house has carried on spinning and people going about there business, living there lives while mine has been blown to pieces!

Is that normal? Or am I going crazy?

C 

You buy a card . You're not going crazy. 

Hi all

yes I now can’t go through a gents dept cos I’ll never buy Paul any clothing ever again and yes WJD I’ve taken that wobbler

christmas cards on display throw me things I always bought Paul every year throw me in fact I’m not in a good place at all

would’ve been at Chatsworth house this weekend in our motorhome 

what ifs just doing around in my head

i am ‘safest’ locked in blinds down when I don’t see the outside world getting on with life …. Normal 

I go to bed really early about 7 ….. don’t sleep cuddle into Paul’s coat and cry

not normal

as you say our life’s aren’t normal and I for one aren’t coping….

wish I could go back to our life but then we all want that don’t we

think I’m depressed as well as everything else

i so miss him

hugs to you all and hope you are having a ‘better’ day if there is such a thing

xx

Dear everyone 

Replying to these recent postings, and feeling exactly the same.

I had a major "wobbly" recently, and was waiting for it unfortunately. I have been putting off lighting the wood fire in the house. Had a small heater on and just put on more clothes. Stupid really. As I have plenty of wood, and the chimney has been recently cleaned. However, it was already set with paper and firelighters, that Barry had already done, even at the beginning of the year. That threw me. As I lit the fire, I was asking him what to do? He as always the one to get it going, it is quirky, French and old! I completely lost it. As I knew it would. Still feeling it a few days later and successfully managing the fire too. Strange feeling, but sure Barry is somewhere and guiding me. Encouraging me probably.

The clothes shopping too at this time of year is also horrendous. What to do? Nothing. Just bought a few treats for myself in the end.

What a terrible life this feels right now? Feels worse it seems, the long evenings ahead? At least I will be warm.

Love to you all in this difficult period for us.

Hi

yes I’ve taken many wobblers….. when realisation sets in about buying presents for Paul for Christmas I see them in the shops 

i ways bought a diary for him to record his work in, M&S money coins, chocolate orange then clothes

cannot even think about it when I see stuff I just crumble

to be perfectly honest I’m just a fragile wreck mentally physically and emotionally 

am I the only one?

xx