My Husband’s Wake was yesterday

Hi 

I know it sounds weird to say that a funeral/wake were lovely but I felt the same about Daves. I met people that he’d talked about for years and heard so many stories about when he was younger. It’s a tribute t the men they were that people come to share their stories with you.  
I think it hits you the day after though. Up until now you’ve probably been making arrangements, dealing with lots of practical stuff and then comes the lull. 
I can’t promise that you’ll ever stop grieving - I’m a year down the line and still cry and miss Dave so much - but I will say that you need to give yourself some time. Take it one day at a time - if a day seems too long take it hour by hour. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do- just do what you need to do to get through. Some days will start to be better than others and then something will trigger you again but that’s ok. I don’t know if you’re a reader but if I’m time you want to I can recommend a book that helped me a lot. It’s ok that you’re not ok by Megan Devine. Since Dave died I haven’t been able to concentrate enough to read books much (I was an avid reader before ) but with this book you can just read small sections at a time. The first time I read it i found it so comforting that she talked about the exact feelings I was having. I think it helped me a lot. It makes you realise that you’re not going crazy - and what you are feeling is normal. 
Pleas keep coming on here and talking. Everyone on here understands how you feel. We’re all weathering this storm together 

Thank you so much. I will try the book x

Hi Juju

It was my wonderful husband's funeral / celebration of life on Friday. I did him proud and somehow found the strength to get up and read my words to him.

Afterwards at the wake it was a good feeling, lots of people came and I felt surrounded by their love and well wishes. It felt as though he was still with us and i could imagine how much he would have loved to see all his friends.

Since then it's unbearable though. I like you now feel truly alone. He has gone and there is no more I can do for him. I can never be with him again and it hurts so much.  He didn't want me to be scared but I don't know how else to feel. 

I just want to hold his hand and for him to give me one of his happy kisses.