What Were They Really Thinking and Feeling?

Hello there 

Yes, I have had those thoughts too. Often thought Barry knew what was going to happen and didn't want to speak of it. Or to worry me.

Maybe I should have spoken more to him about "the end " but didn't.  I feel now we can't dwell on it too much? If not we are going to have the awful guilt to deal with as well as every other emotion we are coping with.

Keep strong. It is okay. 

Hugs 

Hi

yes I feel exactly the same

what was paul( husband ) really thinking

and yes he never spoke about’it’  Paul just to said 

we have a plan we’ll get through it

sadly never did

devastated doesn’t come close

feel shit all day and every day ….. he passed away 24thjuly2022 an eternity

miss him  so much it’s so so painful

hugs to all

xx

My thoughts exactly.  Nic absolutely would not talk to me about how he felt about his initial diagnosis, treatment and end of life diagnosis.  I think he was protecting me but I so wish he had talked to me about it.  I've been through his emails since he died and he talked a lot to his sister, but not to me.  I have no idea how he wanted me to go on without him.  I've been finding my own way, always imagining him on my shoulder approving or probably disapproving of what I've been doing with the house and garden.  I guess we just have to find our own way, hard as it is.

On we go.

Felicity 

Hi all and thanks for replying.

Again the responses show that what I'm thinking seems to be a fairly normal thing in our circumstances.

Yes we definitely need to carry on and simply do our best for ourselves and for them.

Take care,

WDJ

 Hi all Lynne once said to me a few weeks before she passed away meet someone and have a good life and I got angry and said you are my life, we will always be together, she knew she hadn't long but I couldn't accept it I wouldn't accept it, even when the Christie said she would have to go to a hospice and not come home with me because I wouldn't be able to look after her , i still ordered an electric bed and was looking into stairlifts , Lynne was always the realist ,the sensible one ,the driving force, made things happen  and god knows what I would have done without her , yet it was lynne who went through the trauma of major surgeries, chemo radio ,iliostomy,  and still she was so much stronger and braver than me because she accepted the reality of what was going to happen, she fought it like a lion to the very end,  but even to this day I still have difficulty accepting what happened and am struggling with things I did didn't do should have said , I know it wont help me now but 12 months on and i seem to be struggling more , just happy to get through each day as it comes, love and best wishes to everyone here who are living with this heartbreaking life  

Yes they are the brave ones …..

we are struggling hourly even minute by minute

big bugs hugs to every one

xx

Should read big big hugs !

xx

I lost my husband a month ago after a July 11th diagnosis. I have the same thoughts that you do. He wasn't able to express himself, as he could barely speak at the end, but I could see the thoughts in his eyes. The guilt and regret are overwhelming.

i know exactly how you feel, On diagnose he never said much at all and was more concerned how I was.  On being told he had weeks to live he said i was to be happy and meet somebody else, always thought about me. 

We only spoke about his wishes once a week later and after that he wasn’t able to speak properly and to be honest was away with the fairies most of the time due to the meds. 

He refused to look at the internet which I am so glad as a massive percentage due from pancreatic cancer within a short time. 

I often used to look at him laying there and wondered what was going through his head.  

It's amazing how similar our experiences are. All of us. When the doctor came in to the ER and gave us the diagnosis, I gasped and lost my balance. My Robert's first words to the doctor were "get her a sedative".