Recently lost my big brother

I'm so sorry for that you lost your brother. You must have been very close if he wanted you to take care of him. I know how hard it is to care of a loved one on end of life meds and to watch them fade away. The drugs seemed to escalate my husband's death. I console myself by hoping they reduced his pain and helped him pass peacefully. It's the cancer that takes life. I don't know if we ever come to terms with loosing someone close. We can just hope that in time we learn to live with the lose. 

Thinking of you 

Veronica 

Hello 

So sorry for you. Wow, what an honour you had to care for him at the end. You, just you. Don't feel bad or guilty, you were there for him right up to the end. Yes, and he was probably comfortable and not in pain. Which is what happened to me and my Barry at the end. 

Take care of yourself now. Use this forum, it is wonderful.

Hugs 

Unfortunately honoured is not how I feel .....?traumatised is where I am 

but thank you very much for your thoughts and good wishes and sory to hear about your Barry 

take care 

Dean x

Thank. You for you reply Veronica yes we were very close we have spent a lot of time together he even works for me for quite a few years when I had my building business...sorry to hear about your husband was his treatment at Weston park hospital in Sheffield  ? That’s the hospital my brother had his treatment he was also in St Luke’s for a while too .... like you said we have to learn to live with our loss 

thinking of you too

Dean x

Hello again 

Sorry for saying "honoured". Not the right one at all now I see it.

Traumatized is how you are feeling.  Learning how to cope with the awful loss takes time.

Day by day. Small steps.

Hugs 

 I know where you are coming from, my hubby was in the hospice, and on the Monday night, he was in so much pain, the dr said we  are putting up a syringe driver, and giving him sedation, to be honest i never thought  it was getting to the end, at 11 pm nurse came in and said Mrs     H.... are you sure you want me to give him this, it was the sedation, i just said of course, her reply he will never open his eyes again.

Well i did have to have counselling, a year later, and that saying yes haunted me, did i kill him, i asked the counsellor, and she said no you did not, and your not the first to ask that, the relief i felt was   over whelming.

So you was not ,you where there for your brother, like i was there for my hubby. x