Four months ago, when I booked to go back to the holiday cottage where we went every year for the last 8 years, it seemed like a good idea. It’s where we spent some of our happiest times and where we truly relaxed so it’s the perfect place to scatter Daves ashes. My son and daughter and their partners, my parents, Daves sister brother in law and nieces are all coming so I’ll be surrounded by loving family but it’s just hit that it’s only three weeks now and I don’t know how I am going to cope being there without him. It was our special place and I’m beginning to think Ive made a huge mistake booking to go back. Family all day “he will be there with you” but he won’t will he. We’ll never sit on the edge of the Tarn again together watching the sunset , never climb another mountain together, never sit in the pub garden having a drink after a days walking, never laugh again about how wet we’ve got while out walking and having to dash into a pub to dry off.
It was Daves birthday last week and I managed to get through that day but it feels like this trip is just too big.
I’m hoping that once we get there we can just celebrate Dave and the wonderful man that he was but I know it’s going to be so so hard..
