Loss of my wife

Had a crap weekend every program I was watching my wife watched it as well ,and this morning  just checking bank account and I saw my wife pension had been  transferred into my account  and that just set me of again 

  • I'm so sorry - a weekend of triggers for you :-( I hope next weekend will be better. I saw my mum on saturday and i kept randomly bursting into tears. Its been 2 months for me now and i still think he's going to walk in the front door after a long business trip (which i was used to). i had to have house valuations done on friday for probate and i just didnt want those people in my house. Be kind to yourself. 

  • Hi Andrew,

    Unlike you I had a really good weekend with family, watching my son play cricket Saturday and went to an Open Farm Sunday event with my daughter and grandchildren. I felt so, so good then I wake up this morning and WHAM! Life seemed so empty today without my Lin and I was quite emotional during my bereavement counselling session this morning. I cried a couple of times and also felt down all day, crying again on another couple of times. My counsellor said this often happens when we have had a really good time. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow. I pick my grandson up from school tomorrow afternoon, so I have something to look forward to. On Wednesday morning I am going to go to a bereavement café and my counsellor said that could be a good thing to do, so hope that works out well.

    It's 7 months since I lost my Lin and some days are really hard but I think things are slowly improving, so I try to be positive but it is so difficult some days. We just need to hang in there on those days. Hope you're feeling better today.

    Stay strong,

    Derek

  • Andrew b,

    I have exactly the same feelings. Watching TV programmes has been horrendous. There are only two that I have started watching again. I watched a new one and my first thought was that she'd have really enjoyed watching this. It just set me off. I also 'found' myself very quickly sitting where she used to sit on the couch so I wasn't looking over at an empty space. Looking at where I used to sit doesn't seem to affect me.

    Bank accounts have been hard to take too with her name being removed. We know it has to be done but my it's tough!

    WDJ

  • 10 months in and I don’t watch anything that Rob loved.  Maybe 1 day i’ll get back to watching Corrie! 

    Today I needed to order something from Screwfix and discovered Rob had an account so another account to change name over. It’s the little things that come to bite you when you think you are doing OK. 

  • I first thought the not watching TV thing was me just being silly but having been on here it seems quite a natural situation.

    The cars are the next dilemma. Every time I'm in one ...!

  • I actually feel the saddest when I’m driving, I never drove as Rob thought my driving was pretty bad……yes it is!  Now I have to drive even though 3 prangs in first 3 months must be a record! He wouldn’t be impressed. 

  • I don't drive i find it hard when I'm in a cab and on the train with her not being next to me 

  • Hi. 
    i fully get your reaction to the pension. I was at work when I found out. Logged into my banking to check something else and when I saw Daves pension had gone into my bank I was absolutely floored. Full on ugly sobbing - fortunately I have my own office so I closed the door and let it out. It seems so final when things like this happen.

    Take care of yourself 

    Jillian x