Hate it all

Hi Tivvy. 
Sounds like you’re having a bad day. I know how you feel as I’ve been having one of those myself too. I don’t have the words to make you feel any better but hopefully just knowing someone cares will help a little bit. Hope you find a little light tomorrow and don’t feel quite to despondent. 
Take care 

Jillian x 

Hi Tivvy, 

Its just so hard isn’t it? I have bad days and today wasn’t the greatest either. Hoping tomorrow is a better day. You can only take one step/day at a time. Big hugs. 

Hi Hippodog,

Thank you so much for your reply. And I am so sorry for my late reply. I seem to feel from one thing to another, my sister has been very ill following a hip replacement 3 weeks ago. (She ended up queuing in an ambulance for 4 hours yesterday, and is to go back to theatre for a big infection around the joint.) Yes it is hard. And compounded by the actions, or lack of actions of people. I had heard of the way some people drop widows, but it is true. And I had a sequence of events. Big hugs to you for your kindness.

Viv

Hi Jillian, 

Thank you so much for your kindness. It is a real struggle at times. I have had a sequence of events, and very little support and it is a struggle at the moment. 

Big hugs to you. Xx

Viv

People drop widowers too - don't know if it's because we (I) am miserable - who wouldn't be when their soul mate has gone, or because they feel awkward about my Gill not being around. Lots of condolences up to and including the funeral - then nothing.  I was about to say that I am lucky that at least some family are keeping in touch, but feeling lucky isn't on the cards just yet.  There are bad days and terrible days, best coping mechanism seems to be get through today and deal with tomorrow when it comes.  I really hope that your sister makes a full recovery.

You take care of yourself as it sounds like your sister is going to need a someone to help her cope.

Hi Viv

hopefully when you feel a little stronger, you can try again, nothing we say on here is wrong, I often ramble, sometimes I just say what’s in my heart, doesn’t always make perfect sense, but feel free to just say whatever you want. I have been down for a few weeks now, so close to tears all the time, just praying for nighttime so I can sleep. Today was different, I didn’t get up till 2pm, which is my normal now, but my eldest son was due at 5-6pm for dinner. I just don’t know how I got the energy or motivation, I just decided ‘today I’m going to do something, instead of sitting watching Netflix and feeling sad all day. I cut and strimmed the grass and put down lawn food. Replaced some decking that had needed doing for months. Repaired the garden hose, was barely any water coming out of it. And when my Son arrived, we repotted a plant in the front garden, that had become pot bound ( well around 5 years ago actually), was a tough job. That may all sound fairly trivial, but for me it was immense, completely wore me out, so out of sorts from sitting around all day. I actually felt positive today, I actually accomplished something. The warmer weather helps, always makes things seem a little better. I plan a little cement repair work tomorrow, and have bought all the bits to do a car service, so may make a start and do the air filter. Feels good to feel like this, hopefully tomorrow I will feel the same.

see I told you I ramble…….so maybe there is hope for me, early days, but promising

take care of yourself x

Hi Andy
unfortunately it’s to easy to feel abandoned, my sons and daughters do contact me from time to time 95% wattsapp, but sometimes their lives get too busy I guess and I don’t hear from them. Every morning first thing I do is check my wattsapp messages, and feel so disappointed if there is none for me. Can’t complain, they are not my carers. Just so so lonely, don’t have any friends, all I needed was my Linda. So rely on my family more than I really should, if just one or two of them sent me a text each day, that would make a huge difference. But I know some people find it hard to ask ‘ How are you ? “ or “ what you up to today” my sons never contacts me unless there’s a reason guess that’s a male thing ‍

Hi, l know what you mean. Petes family have not been in touch since the funeral(disagreemnt over one of his sisters turning up, uninvited for good reasons). It is as if Pete and certainly  me had ever existed, baring in mind we had been together since we were 16 and married since we were 17. Plus l am the only sister inlaw they have, not bad going hey. How can people be so cruel??

Bless you l know what you mean about sitting down watching Netflix feeling sad. I have had a really bad week, makes you wonder how you are going to carry on without the other half of ourselves. But good for you busying yourself l know just how hard it is to do that.

Thank you

yes at times it’s impossible, I so want to get the family photos scanned, all winter I said, “a perfect job for the winter” but just couldn’t do it, did whatever I could to keep myself sane, and avoid things that I know would set me back…..One Day, fingers crossed……