Actually it is the ‘nevers’

Hi Neve

Thank you for your words of wisdom. I know you are right. Yes we can be at mine, his is just quieter. I am trying not to be a baby or irrational. 

Hopefully he will come up trump's. Yes his son is manipulative and could do with acting his 21 years. I have tried every approach possible with him ( except a slap! Lol). 

Please find yourself some support, you will need it. You sound remarkably strong as we can all be but we all need someone sometimes. You can always message me if you need to. Fingers crossed it is all a false alarm but alot of positive treatment now anyway..

Thank you xxx

Thank you xx l have my 2 sons and daughter inlaws who have been fantastic, plus my own sisters and brother. But weird isnt it l still feel alone. I know that there was only ever one person to really be there Pete xx

But as everyone here we have to try and take each day as it comes x.

All the best to you and put yourself first xx

First the good news, as a pessimist (realist?) you are very often proved wrong and it's a nice "surprise" when events turn out better than you feared.  But as a pessimist you will have expected and prepared for the worst. As an optimist, when things go right you are not necessarily pleased it's how they should be, when they go wrong you are unprepared and they tend to go badly wrong.  
My advice is for a pessimist to team up with an optimist, the pessimist will have a reassuring shoulder to rest on, and the optimist will have the partners plans to fall back on - worked for us, just understand that you are both right, obviously "you" are more right.
Telling you that the vast majority of hip operations are routine isn't going to help - but they are, so hoping that yours is, my advice is don't sit down and watch TV drinking tea and eating biscuits for days afterwards, movement is the key.  Then again having to go upstairs to get rid of the tea every hour certainly is what the physio would want.  Needle phobia I understand, once walked into the plebotanists and passed out - before she even asked my name.  You can imagine the fun we had when I had to give Gill her injections - would have made a good comedy sketch, apparently you are not allowed to close your eyes when you stab a loved one with a needle.
Here's the bad news, Mums never stop worrying about your kids. Got a message from my Mum telling me not to go out in the storms on my motorbike as she was panicing about me - I'm 62.

Giving sons a slap isn't allowed anymore,but boy do they need it especially as they get older, mine are 40 & 37 !

Hi,

Totally agree, my sons are 47 and 45 and l told them yesturday to stay safe, also my brother who is my twin 65 years old: a mum never changes her love and worries lol. I was about to say that l would have said the same to Pete if he was here xx

Hi Jude

There’s far too many ‘Nevers’, hadn’t thought of it that way, but you are so right. But I don’t think it helps to dwell on them though, because we can’t change the ‘Nevers’ When I remember my Linda, I try to to concentrate on the ‘Dids’ the things we achieved together, although even such fond Happy memories result in tears.

keep safe & well

Hi Neve 

Exactly me at the moment. Lots of people there but not the one you want to be there! 

Praying for you.

Take care

Love and hugs Alison xxx

xxx

Hi Jude2, I haven’t been on the forum for some weeks thinking I needed to create some space in my head. The good thing on this forum is you can express your feeling good or sad and no one judges you and in fact they completely understand what you’re going through. It is now 4 months since I lost my one true love Sharon, we met later in life and married in July 2020. All we wanted was to enjoy our lives together whilst we still had our health, then grow old together, just 15 months later she died in my arms from cancer. Four months on I my life is still in pieced, I don’t know how I get through each day, as I have no drive or desire to do anything of significance. I totally understand what you say about the nevers, I get exactly the same and it has stopped me doing a number of things, simply because it was something Sharon and I did together. This stretches to a particular walk we always enjoyed, together with our dog, I just cannot do it knowing I’m doing so without Sharon’s company, hand in mine, etc.. Bedtime is probably worst when I climb the stairs the emotions start to build and by the time I’m in our bedroom the tears have started and that happens every single night. An empty bedroom no kiss goodnight, no Sharon falling asleep head on my shoulder,                      

Take care, best wishes, big hugs 

Paul  x