Thought I was doing ok but today hasn’t been a good day. The tears won’t stop falling and I’ve eaten my body weight in chocolate.
I have family stuff happening and I just really need to talk to Dave and have him put his arms around me and tell me it’s all going to be ok I miss him so much - it’s been four months now and I’m sure the hurt is getting worse. Most of the time I have coping strategies but nothing seems to be working this week.
I have wonderful supportive friends and family but I just tell them I’m ok because I don’t them to worry about me but I’m not ok. And let’s be honest they don’t really get it anyway. Only those of us that are living through this nightmare really get it.
Floundering
J
Mmm, time, it goes fast and it goes slow, then there’s waiting for grief to ease.
Your doing all you can, you’ve lost someone you loved, the more you loved, the more you grieve, I hope your children keep you so busy, that you don’t have too much time to think about it all, I think your probably my daughters age, so you really have a long life ahead, love will find you again, just a different love.
My brother, lost his son to cardiomyopathy, he was a fit lifeguard (they live near Bondi beach) it obviously affected him deeply, but now says he can remember him without pain, just warm happy memories, it’s taken him over 20 years to get there.
Here I am, 70 years old, although I’m only 35, in my head, not sure I’ve got 20 years 
but time will tell, maybe I’ll do a post on here when it happens (sorry warped sense of humour)
For now, I’ll put on my walking trainers and head out, maybe head to Brixham and fill my day.
I hope you’re not too tired, take care x
Hi,
I'm 41, so I might be indeed your daughter's age (considering my parents are turning 70 this year!). :) I can't wait to be 42 to have all the answers.
20 years is a long way ahead, that's for sure but like you say I have supposedly a lifetime still ahead of me. We all know that it can be much shorter than that so I'm trying to not waste too much time (while waiting for time to heal the grief)
I'm filling my day with lots of activities and between the kids the house and the pets, I have a busy life! I'm quite hopeful about my future. Last night I slept a lot more than usual, starting at 7.30.. That might be the way for me, 7.30 til 3.30. Not sure that it will facilitate meeting someone new.. 
I hope that you had a good day out. xx
