Hi everyone…
On the outside I appear ok… but really I’m struggling to hold it together. It’s 9 months today since I lost my wife and today I spent it with her rugby friends of old who she played with, lived with and classed as family. It was emotional watching the team and then finding they hung a shirt up with a plaque in the clubhouse. I came home and sobbed. I couldn’t stop and I’m still struggling to contain it.
I would love to feel just a bit like my old self again but I don’t think that will ever happen. The feeling of emptiness and all hose hard memories that keep floating to the surface, reminding me of how helpless I felt and how unbelievably guilty that makes me feel now. I know I did everything to care for her and all mostly on my own due to covid but it doesn’t feel like enough.
The only thing keeping me going is my dog. Our two elderly dogs left me too within a couple of months of each other. Again, they were so poorly I felt helpless too.
How do you get over those memories?
