An emotional wreck lately

Hi, it's been a few years now since I lost my Husband but I still find a lot of support on here. I know that feeling when someone says "How are you?" and you just smile and say something like "Not too Bad" but really you cannot even get to grips with the reality of what has happened, and cannot imagine how you are going to continue. But somehow, whether it's through our Faith, or our Family, or even our Animals, we do continue, and slowly we seem to find a way to do so. I lost the love of my life and my soul mate and never dreamed I would ever recover to some point of normality, but thankfully, after a long, hard road I did. Be kind to yourself, rest whenever you can, eat little and often. You did all you could for your Wife, now you must try and take care of you. 

Thank you. Some days are better than others. Today started well but turned into one of those days. 

Those days happen when we least expect them and that's ok, it happens to all of us if we are honest  your wife's friends are grieving too and catching up with you will take the toll on them to be fair - they'll think they're doing 'nice/good' things in her memory. Next time will be easier, and the time after that. We don't get over those memories but treasure and keep them in our memory bank to recall with love and affection

Hi Hippodog, it is 3 years since John died, things still make me cry, a smell, song, Spurs doing badly or just a memory. I am not who I was before he died, I am now a widow, no longer working, life is different. But the memories now are bit cold and warm, if you know what I mean.

Dogs are an incredible comfort, my old blonde lab had to be put down 2 months after John died, definitely the right decision. I wasn’t going to get another but did. A black lab puppy, now 3. She’s  a complete nightmare who is as we speak, crated because she had to have a tumour removed. Long story but I also have another 2 yr bblack lab, he’s had to go to the kennels to give the other a chance to recover. My back aches, my wrist aches, the house is covered in black hair and often a total disaster area. But my daughter helped me bring them both home and they have helped me get through the last 3 years and kept me going. I have turned into an eccentric dog woman. 

Thank you. I’m hoping the hard memories will fade soon enough. They seem to be getting stronger as I must’ve blocked them for a while. 

I love my girl… I wasn’t going to get another either but she has kept me on my toes! 5 months old today and a stick of dynamite! She is a Labrador too. Our other two were lab crosses and brilliant dogs. I lost Becs in April, Monkey Moo in July and Hippo in August. Just a really rubbish time! They were so sick and I was constantly worried, along with cleaning up a lot of mess. I miss them dearly. 

This is Cara… 

Bless you, l feel your pain and understand,,,, although my husband has only been gone 14 weeks now. I  feel that at times memories are a blessing, because we have them, and we have them with our loved ones. On the other side they are hard to handle also loosing your dogs is another hard blow, as l know that they are not just dogs but family members as well x.

What a little stunner. You have had really difficult time. Be kind to yourself, unfortunately although we all grieve differently emotions such a guilt are often there are hard to deal with. Even when we know others are right when they say you have nothing to feel guilty.

loads of luv n hugs

Jo

xx

I hope you are having a better day. I had to say goodbye to our beautiful dog shortly after my husband died. It was such a hard final decision to make without him to talk it through with but we did know it was likely as he was an elderly dog and his health was failing. What tipped me over the edge was after returning from the vets my daughter gave me a small box and said ‘dad wanted you to have this after you had said goodbye to the dog’. It was a ring with our dogs name and paw prints and the inscription Paw prints to your heart.  I cried and cried because even when my husband was facing his own end he was thinking of me, knowing I had to face the decision about the dog on my own. That was the kind of man he was -so kind and thoughtful. I miss them both so much but don’t have the heart to get another dog yet despite being desperate for company and the routine they bring. Sorry to have run on but just having another one of those days.

Hi Jude,

You clearly made the right decision with your wonderful dog. A Decision your husband supported and also knew was right. At some stage you may feel it is right to get another dog, it maybe tomorrow, next week, or even next year. One thing you know is that your husband was, and is, with you in your heart.

Being able to support you by arranging the ring must have given him great comfort. I found a poem my husband had written me in a box that I was only going to open when  I moved. Which was, for various reasons 8 months after he died. I have it on the wall of my home office, I often read it, sometimes with a tear sometimes, now, with a warm feeling I realise the move was what he wanted me to do. The old house was a project too far.

Loads o luv n hugs

Jo

xxxxx