A couple of nights ago I went to bed missing my husband so much I cried (I haven't let myself cry much over the past 15 month)
In the early hours I found myself reading through all the old texts I still have on my phone between the two of us. Many of which, were written during the times he was hospitalised and no visiting allowed due to covid restrictions.
I found myself laughing as I recalled the many memories and the dark humour we both found at times during the awfulness of the situation...
A couple of examples:
The time my husband removed his cannula as it was 2 days out of date and he was fed up of telling the lazy and very rude nurse (who preferred to sit on her bum most of the time reading magazines), she kept saying it's okay just let the next shift change it.. After he called her to say what he'd done she then tried to put the same needle back in and ended up with blood spurting all over the sheets and ended up having to change them as well!
Eight hours after initially asking the same nurse politely to remove the VERY full urine bottle from his bedside table, my husband who was totally bed bound, was fed up of asking and requesting a new bottle as he was bursting to go again but was constantly being ignored... The bottle somehow mysteriously took flying lessons and the ensuing mess had to be cleared up by the same lazy nurse, much to the amusement of the other 3 men in the bay who had all been on the receiving end of her half hearted, disinterested attempts at nursing.
It was good to read some of his messages and cheer that he was able to look back and laugh even though things were so grim...meaning he was able to regain a little bit of control of the situation.
I'm so pleased I still have the messages from him...as I re-read them it was like the two of us were once again sharing a private joke together
Jude2,
It is nice that we have these bitter-reminders such as letters and texts. It helps take an edge off the horrible memories many of us have of the final weeks and months.
I expect many of us still keep their number in our phones as we cannot bear to delete them.
x
Pleased that you have these reminders. It’s amazing how the people who were suffering managed to find humour in some of their worst moments. The last time Dave was in hospital he became incontinent and instead of being embarrassed about having to use pads, he laughed because they were blue and white. he said that was apt as he had been a lifelong supporter of Huddersfield Town football club (who play in blue and white) and they are also full of ****.
Keep these memories x
Actually, Mart would have got that, he was a Sheffield Wednesday supporter, their colours were also blue and white and yes, he wasn’t always happy with how they played, actually, the results on a Saturday always influenced the weekend mood. X
I have many humorous memories to remember my husband by during his illness... He also joked when he rang me to say he'd had a 'nappy' put on! Using humour to cope with the humiliation and indignity.
Bless them
Lol @ the blue and white pants/pads I work in retail (clue in my name) and sell many of these products and now can't stop singing 'Blue is the colour, football is the game'
You have to find humour wherever you can, even when we can't be ar$ed! Keep your spirits up everyone and laugh at the funny times with fondness
Thanks Bootsy
I now have the same song going through my mind...
My husband Mark was always the first to be laughing at the dark humour associated with his cancer. As for the time he finally 'went' on the hospital commode after days of being bunged up by his medication ...it was so farcical it was like a sketch from a comedy scene with him in star role. He was so ill nurses were holding him up and he wasn't even allowed to 'wipe himself" But he found it all hilarious ... not sure the nurses did
x
Pooka, your husband would have been one of my ideal patients. I love looking after men in particular with a warped sense of humour!!! I love to have a joke with people and you know who you can do this with. He would have been a pleasure to nurse.
I do hasten to add though, he would have always had a clean urine bottle, sheets and new venflon! Hate lazy trained nurses that are too posh to wash!!! I was taught by caring and getting your hands dirty was how you learnt about the person as a whole. So important and remembered too
Love and hugs Alison xxx
Akela, fortunately Mark did have some nurses that were made of the right stuff....
Both he and I appreciated the staff that did their job properly and the ones that went the extra mile. We had some good laughs and jokes with some of the special ones... and we took the time to let them know their care was appreciated x
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