Hello,
It seems everybody is a bit quiet these days. I hope that everybody is feeling alright. I've been enjoying the few sunny days and don't mind the cold but the clouds are now back over my head and in it too.
I think that losing Juliette and having to face everything we faced made me a better person and I think that it's true for all of us. Once you've gone through something as big as losing your partner you don't see the world the same way. We have an awareness of what it means to suffer and I think that we're much more able to relate to anyone else's struggle. Grief made us more compassionate.
But somedays, like today, I just wish I could back for even half a day to my life from before, just being unaware (in French I'd use inconscient, but unconscious is not the same), just being happy with not a worry in the world and not having to work on my feelings, carry my daughters, and keep going trying to focus on the little good things I can find hoping for a brighter future when I won't find so lonely at times, hopefully a brighter future with someone by my side.
That was today's rant. Heading to the seaside for a change of scenery, hopefully a bit of Sun at some point, or a storm, or something.
Take care xx
Ha ha going grey, mine gets covered regularly!!! As long as it says "natural" ash blonde on the bottle, it is my colour!!! 
Steve actually said to me the other day, "have you thought about going grey naturally"!!!! Really, has he thought about black eyes!!! He does have that nice white grey! Mine wouldn't be!
Always nice for us to have a smile every day
I am proud of myself today, I have tidied my front garden, cut the lawn (bit early but it was messy with leaves and I won't manage it soon) and done my housework. I will suffer in pain for the rest of the day but a productive day off!
Love and hugs Alison xxx
