Still struggling to accept he's gone

Hello Tracy

My husband,Ian, passed away 28 weeks ago today and it still seems like yesterday. I can’t come to terms with never seeing him again and I still message him twice a day, first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

I don’t really know how I feel to be honest as in reality, I often feel nothing.  My life stopped when his did.

As you say, everyone on this site knows how you feel and there will be always be a supportive shoulder to ‘cry’ on when you need to.

Take care 

x Julie

Hello Julie , It's am awful feeling . Mark only had a sore back and thought he had pulled a muscle  and after 3 months of going to GP he finally got an MRI and terminal diagnosis he was 53. 

You take care and look after yourself to

Tracy x

Hi Tracy and Julie, my partner died on the 21/11/21, I don't have his phone, his mum has it. They haven't cancelled his contract or his whatsapp so far and I texted him once last week to tell him I loved him, I couldn't stop myself.  I wait everyday for a message from him, I cant accept he's not here. I lost my mum 7 years ago to cancer but this is very different, it's the worst pain I've ever experienced. I don't have any words of comfort I just wanted to say I know how it feels. I'm glad at least we can share these things here.

Lisa x 

Hi Tracy, yes, it’s really rubbish being seen as the strong one, going through the motions, we’re all good actors and society for some reason expects us to recover from loosing our life partners so quickly and we try not to disappoint, when inside, we’re empty. As Julie has already said, our lives stopped, when theirs did.

I’m sure you’ll find support from all the kind people on here, keep talking and sharing.

Big hugs……Linda xx

Hi Linda Thank you. I have had people saying it gets easier but how do they know when they haven't been through it. 

Take care

Tracy x

Tracy

It was the same with Ian in a way. He had no symptoms except a strange feeling in his stomach. 7 weeks later, he was gone…..

We had been told a year initially but that was not to be. In fact, I was bringing him home from hospital and one of the ambulance crew advised me not to. So I asked for him to be put back in his hospital bed and 45 minutes later he passed away.

All so quick and so final,

x Julie

That was really quick. I had Mark for 5 months after he was diagnosed and in all that time he never gave a thought to himself just made sure everything was sorted. We were luck enough to have him at home the whole time and spent the time making memories as he didn't want doom and gloom. He wrote me a letter in that time and hid it inside documents he knew I would need. I miss him so much.

Tracy x

Hi darling, I’m only at 11 weeks since I lost Mart, we’d been together since I was 22, I’m now 70, a long happy marriage.

Actually, I wouldn’t want anyone to feel this pain, but sadly, it will happen to every couple eventually. 

My brother and sister who have both lost adult children said the only thing that helps is time. 

Big hugs xxx

Hi Lisa that's the one thing we all have in common we do know how it feels

Tracy x

Hi all,

It does get easier with time. I am saying this to all of you who hear this remark from people who haven't experienced the death of a spouse because I have experienced it and so maybe you can believe me. Often it doesn't feel like it could get easier; often it feels like, with the passing of time, it is getting worse. But the truth is that it will get better.

Love X