I have several New Year resolutions, that are important to me, I would love to be able to keep, get out of bed earlier than 1130am each day, have more enthusiasm & get on with various unfinished projects, go out to a coffee morning or meet up, be stronger and control my anxiety and depression better. But feel I won’t be able to many much of this at all, maybe start with getting up at 1030am, that’ll be tough in itself, as every day seems so pointless, it’s such a struggle to just get out of bed, keep thinking “ just 10 minutes more then I’ll get up” , which of course I don’t. I really truly never realised how totally devastating losing a partner is, I lost both my parents and parents in law, and the grief was nothing like this.
I can’t say Happy New Year, that would be superfluous and too trivial. I do wish everyone the ability to manage 2022 with a greater strength, take comfort in the love you shared, and embrace treasured happy memories.
May the New Year bring you comfort and peace.
An idea, will defo think about that thanks
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
Your words definitely do not sound trite, it’s an incredibly tough and painful journey we face. I am comfortable sharing my fears and difficulties on here, so many of us are experiencing the same, only by sharing can we ‘try’ to help each other. It has been particularly difficult during the Christmas period. I have 3 different tradesmen coming during January, one for sofa repairs and chair repair and of course the boiler replacement. I absolutely detest and dread any tradesmen coming round, anxiety levels so high. I have meds for nausea, but sometimes hard to differentiate between nausea and anxiety. Have some diazepam, given to me previously before my Citalopram, but have so far avoided taking these, as the effect is only for 3-4 hours and can feel worse as they wear off. I am constantly chatting to my children on a wattsapp group chat, does help fight the total silence surrounding me, but doesn’t replace actually talking to someone face to face.
I have requested friendship, then if you want you can PM me, sometimes it’s easier than in an open forum, always here to listen, when you feel the need.
When Linda was here, we didn’t concern ourselves with the future, except to keep her comfortable as possible, and do all that was possible medically for her. She so loved going on holiday, but due to her poor health this became impractical. We lived for each other, were content to share our lives together. But now it’s just me, where do I go from here ? I have no idea, I so hate the loneliness and lack of companionship, of not being able to share my life with someone I care about.
only God knows the ‘Great plan’ keep safe and well
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
Hi Ellie
I do share my feelings with my children, I tell them when I’ve been crying or very anxious, we ‘hopefully’ share everything, they open up more after I’ve told them how I am, think maybe they feel they shouldn’t tell me of their pain. But we console each other and it really helps. It’s not for everyone I guess, wouldn’t want to cause upset, but so far it’s working ok, none of us are afraid to say how they feel. I now know how they are managing and know what to ask. We are holding each other together 
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
Good luck with your NY resolutions, If I can try and get out of bed in the morning before 1130 join U3A club and maybe go for a coffee morning, I will be pleased, they organise trips out, but Covid isn’t helping this one little bit, need to stay safe, managed to avoid Covid so far, really don’t want that to contend with as well.
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
