After staying in bed, for most of the morning, I decided that I couldn’t avoid going for a walk in one of the places that Dave and I frequented any longer. Walking is what I have always done, and I need to do, but everywhere I think of going reminds me of walks with Dave. So I got ready and jumped in the car before I lost my nerve and drove to Nostell Priory. I cried most of the way there and all the way round (tried to avoid the busy paths) and sobbed my heart out when I got to a bench where we’d sit and have a coffee. I think Otto (our fur baby) thought I’d lost the plot. I’d like to say it helped but I’m not sure if it did or not. People keep telling me to let it out but what they don’t get is that I’m scared that if I do that I might not be able to stop.
I managed a couple of hours though so I guess that’s a good start. I know that Dave would hate to see me hiding under the duvet (I’ve always been an early riser) so I’m going to try harder for him and Otto.
Be kind to yourselves
Jillian
