Christmas meltdown

We all seem to be going through the same grieving process same feelings this should comfort us I suppose, my friends and family have been so supportive,strange but I'm in isolation mode too because it just feels right for me at the moment mark died the end of September October was funeral arrangements,November was sorting the finance side of things which was scary still don't know how that is going end up gave my job up to take care of him so no income at the moment,then Christmas so I still feel my grief is on hold,so I really need time to think without the guilt of upsetting other people and how they are feeling so alone time is my gut reaction and I think we should stick to our gut reaction instead of putting our feelings on hold x

I think trusting your instinct is the right thing to do. I think in time it will also help you know which friends and family will be able to support you too. But it is still early days, so take things at a pace that is right for you. I’m 14 months on this road and still find myself going through a whole range of emotions, sometimes all in a day, sometimes over a few days. 
Take care and try to be kind to yourself

Jane

xx

Thankyyou so much,you do feel like you should be sorting yourself out after a few months,but its such big deal losing someone you shared a long time with,how crap is it spending Christmas day comforting each other with our grief good job we can though this is a special place for us x

Hi everyone,

I too had one or two meltdowns yesterday but not so much because I miss my late husband but because I can see how my dad's illness is getting worse and worse. He was diagnosed with Parkinsons earlier this year but I am convinced that he has demensia as well. He is very confused, disoriented, has mood swings and is very forgetful. I just had to go outside and have a good cry once or twice when the realisation hit me that he will never be the old dad - and yet, he is still the same. We had my grandmother come round for Christmas dinner and she is suffering because it is her second Christmas without her husband of 70 years. I don't know, everything is just difficult. Wherever you look there is some pain and suffering. This morning my mum, my dad and I went for a walk through the brisk winter air and beautiful sunshine. Don't know what we will be doing for the rest of the day.

Lots of Love to you all XXX

Hello

in reply to NicsMrs

feel free to ‘ramble’ as much as you need, we all do that. I just couldn’t face being alone over Christmas, fortunately family helped me through it.

We never buy much for Christmas, over the years have realised we just don’t need lots of food etc. just a few nice things we don’t normally have. But this Christmas all I bought was a bottle of baileys, to toast my Linda, we always bought a bottle of Baileys, our special Christmas treat, and a bag of dry roasted peanuts. Doesn’t sound much does it ? But as I was at my Son’s Christmas Day I didn’t need anything. Does seem strange though when you see shoppers with trolley loads of food.

I don’t suppose I will escape totally, feel very hollow and devoid of emotion at the moment, most likely the AD med actually working, but feel I am on a precipice, if someone said Boo, I think I would breakdown. 

you’re doing much better than you realise, honestly.

keep safe and well

Hi Mel 

I am sorry to hear about your Dad. Parkinson's is a horrible disease. My late father in-law had it. He got the dementia with it. It is called Louie body's dementia if you didn't know. It is a horrible thing to see. Just remember your old dad. 

I have a friend who is luckily still I .the early stages of it too. She is only 53! 

Anyway on a more cheery note. We manage and get on. Both my children now have covid for Christmas! I have somehow avoided it!!! Probably because I am not a social person! Lol. Because both myself and Steve are negative,vwe have been for a Boxing Day picnic on The Quantocks! It was a bit fresh but lovely to make some new memories and get away from it all. Fortunately my two are not particularly unwell and Hannah can do a lateral flow tomorrow to start coming out of isolation. Fingers crossed I stay negative! 

Hope we all had an ok day in the end and apart from bank hols it is all over now! 

Love and hugs Alison xxx

I wasn’t looking forward to Christmas without Dave but I am really dreading NYE. It was always just the two of us with some lovely food a few drinks and Jools Hollands Hootenanny. I’m going to have two of my grandsons to sleep over (18 and 36 months). Hopefully they’ll tire me out and we can all have an early night. Otherwise I don’t know his I will get thought it. 
Jillian x 

Hello Jillian, I was thinking exactly the same thing just now about new years eve.  Nic and I used to do the same as you and Dave.  I'm dreading being invited anywhere and am going to use covid as an excuse not to.  I'll do my own thing as I did on Christmas day.  I hope you can have a nice time with your grandchildren and we'll all get through it the best we can.

Felicity

Hello Jillian 

it certainly makes it more difficult when occasions hold special memories, we never really did much for NYE, watched the fireworks on TV & bed. But really do understand, let’s hope your grandchildren distract you and tire you out enough so  you all get an early night.

Best wishes for the New Year

Pretty similar to NYE for me and Sharon, nice meal at home, few drinks and just relax and thoroughly enjoy being together along with our Yorkie Tilly. No point trying an early night due to number of people who now think extra loud fireworks are perfectly acceptable on or after midnight.

Good idea to have time with grandkids to keep your mind busy. Having suffered 3 family bereavements in 2021 I'll be very glad to see end of the worst year in my life. Similarly I won't be socialising NYE it will be far to emotional and so I'm already trying to prep myself for it. I'll probably watch some TV whilst cuddling Sharon's urn, possibly a drink or two.

Let's hope we can all get through it and then find something positive in 2022, maybe even a little happiness for some of us although for me happiness seems a long way away.

Best Wishes to all,

Paul xx