Back in an instant to the early days

It's now 20 months since Colin died and your post rings so true. We still will  have these little blips and have to face them head-on then pick ourselves up again. One thing I've noticed about this site is that it can be a bit of a roundabout- the current 'new' bereavers will become 12/18/24+ month members who will be giving comfort to people who are where they are now. 

I think I'll always be a member here even if I don't post as often as I used to in my early days

Have as good a Christmas as you can everyone x

Antoine,

Thank you for sharing this, it helps those who are newer to this site like myself to know the pain does ease a little with time but I do expect it to bite me on the bum from time to time and catch me unaware, indeed yesterday I thought I wasn’t doing too bad until I went to collect Craig’s ashes, the collecting them was fine but the paying the account wasn’t dealt with very sympathetically, I’m fine again today.

I have had an emotional telephone call with Craig’s aunt in Germany who couldn’t travel for the funeral I knew it would be like this so had to leave it until I felt stronger but equally glad I did make the call & she was also grateful.

Seasons greetings to you & your daughters

Tracey xx

Hi,

It is indeed nice to be able to have all those different perspective from newcomers to grief veterans! And I have found that sometimes even without replying or writing anything, just reading other people's messages brings a lot.

xx

Hi Tracey,

It is very very early for you. We all take different paths through our grief but yes it does get better, even if it never goes away. I always pictured it as waves. CS Lewis talks about a spiral that gets bigger and bigger so that it doesn't hit you as often, but sometimes as hard! There is another image about a bouncing ball in a box and the box grows. The ball touches the sides less often but still hard potentially. I think it's the same principles for all traumas.

Part of managing is our ability to bounce back from those moments of extreme sadness, and being able to actually acknowledge and accept those moments as experiences. Every good day is a good day. Every bad day is an experience and the fact that you're still there at the end of the day shows that you won that fight and have learned on the way.

It takes time but you seem to be managing already very well.

Take care xx

Antoine

Hi All, yes it does come and go and you think you have cracked it and then something sparks it all again. 

Life can be damn hard work! And sometimes a roundabout which you go around for a bit and then find the exit again! 

Take care All and loving Christmas wishes

Love and hugs Alison xxx