I lost my husband in October, struggling to cope

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After 41 years of marriage, and doing absolutely everything together, my husband passed away on 15 October … I have only just summoned up the courage to visit these forums again and to try to find a way of coping with the overwhelming grief, sadness and emptiness I now feel. I knew that his illness was terminal and that this day would come, but absolutely nothing prepares for the ‘thunderbolt’ that hits you.

I tell myself off, that I shouldn’t feel so sorry for myself, my son and daughter have lost their dad, this is their loss too … but I’ve lost my beloved life partner, my most trusted best friend, the person who knew me best and who loved me most.

I’m just taking each day as it comes now, finding it difficult to look forward, can’t bear the thought of Christmas …

Wildcat over 3 years ago

You've no need to tell yourself off. The loss of your husband is overwhelming in so many ways. Don't expect too much of yourself.

Take care

Look to the moon.

Can't imagine any future without my soulmate

Will6 over 3 years ago

Hello Emanjay

Like you my beloved and I did everything together. We were never blessed with children so now I am alone but not really. His love and strength helped to form me and so knowing that I can keep going.
I miss him so very much.

Be kind to yourself my dear and take your time.

June xx

Emanjay over 3 years ago

Thank you for your replies Wildcat and Will6,

I know I am not alone in my feelings of loss and sadness and that everyone in this group understands completely how I feel.

My thoughts are with everyone going through such a life shattering loss.

Take care

J x

LTT over 3 years ago

Hi Emanjay,

I lost my soulmate 16/10/21 taken way too young at 56 & very suddenly. I have days when I feel I’m not doing so bad and then days when I’m a blubbering mess because the smallest of things has upset me.

I have started to go back to things I enjoy swimming being one as I train with friends the hard physical exercise is good for my mind & helps with sleep. I have also booked for a massage in the new year as I’ve not done this in a while and might help.
like you it’s baby steps and one day at a time

Sending hugs

Tracey xx

MelanieL over 3 years ago

Hi Emanjay,

I am so very sorry for your loss. And I am glad you have come to this forum as here we all understand. It's good to share with people who have experienced the same or at least very similar.

You have no reason at all to tell yourself off. Yes the kids grieve but you are grieving too and there is space for everybody's grief.

Maybe you can talk about it together, share your memories, treasure the memories - when the time is right.

Mind yourself and please keep posting.

Lots of love, Mel.

I don't like the term "moving on" because it sounds to me like we are leaving our loved ones and the life we had with them behind. I like the term "moving forward" as it implies that, while life goes on, our loved ones are still with us in our hearts and minds.

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