On losing a partner.

I couldn’t agree more Viv. I’ve had a close friend keep telling me how awful it is for a  friend of hers that her partner has walked out! Another friend keeps comparing her daughter’s relationship counselling with my grief counselling. I don’t say anything but just smile whilst inwardly thinking ‘how can you be so insensitive!’

Its been 25 weeks now since Ian passed away and all I’ve been able to think of today is the painful fact that I will never see him again. 25 weeks on and I still can’t come to terms with it….

As to the future, there isn’t any worth contemplating.

Julie x

Ohh how so true are those words.                          
I’ve just passed 19 weeks since my dearest Maureen left me, I have been so angry with her  the last few days for leaving me alone, for not having anyone to say I love you too.  I then go to feeling guilty that maybe I could/ should have done more in the last days & hours we had. We knew how unwell she was but  never really thought it would happen so now I can’t believe that I won’t ever see her, hear her voice, feel her arms around me.    I don’t have any family and very few friends, only a couple really and as so many others have said they really don’t understand how devastated I feel with out the person who loved you and you loved in return so much.   As for Christmas, I can’t stand much more of it.   I go days without speaking to anyone.   The loneliness is awful, we were so happy just being together we didn’t need anyone. 
I am 52 but feel like 92,  I have times when I think I’m coping then like a brick wall it just hits me, the reality…..of being alone.  She wouldn’t want me to be like this but I wish I had gone instead of her as I’m sure she would have coped better than me.  
At times I still expect her to walk through the door. 
what a mess.  Future, what future. 
Look after yourselves 

Jon.   

Oh Viv…..thank you for sharing that. It sums it up so perfectly. Nothing compares to the loss of your other half.

Take care all

Jane

xx

Julie we have to fight to find some future. Even with this most gigantic of holes in our lives. I know my husband would be cross if I just folded up. But it is the hardest battle of my life. I feel “outside” of everybody else. I have lost my companion who knew my every thought and wish. 

Oh I am glad you think it hits the spot. Funny the loss of touch is huge. Even if it just straightening a collar. 

xxx

Oh Jon, I understand the loneliness. I just have a sister. I too go days without speaking to anyone. I phone people - I ask them how they are. On the basis that if I don’t, I won’t  speak to anyone. 

Christmas I am not even thinking about. I have done the cards. And even printed off the address labels which was his contribution each year. I know he would be pleased I have done that (and updated anti virus on his laptop). 

I really operate with lists. Every night I make a list of chores for the next day. The only thing that is getting me through it. One foot after the other.

I really hope that you find Christmas a little easier than you expect. But I do understand the battle.

Xxxx

Thank you Tivvy

i appreciate your kindness, I hope you also find Christmas bearable. 
Jon xx

I lost my husband in March to prostate cancer and am still reeling from this, I miss a hug, and seeing his writing can really upset me knowing that I won't get any more little notes left for me. Christmas fills me with dread and I aim to get through it as best I can, but really want it to pass quickly. 

Hi,  my heart goes out to you.   I lost my beloved Maureen at the end of July.  20 weeks today. 
I am having some really rough days, it seems to be getting harder, I cry more as it seems more real than it has before.   Ohh the hugs, and the kisses just having someone to say “I love you “ too.  In my world Christmas doesn’t exist, I’m fed up with the Christmas songs and adverts. I can’t wait to get into January.   I hope you can get through it also.  
take care of yourself x.    Jon.   

Spot on. I know people are trying to help when they tell me to go to them when I’m struggling and upset but they just don’t understand that I don’t want to be with them or that a hug from them won’t help. I just want my Dave to put his arms around me. No one else’s arms will do the job.