Hi Everyone,
My husband of 48 years died in August from a GBM grade 4 brain tumour. He had been diagnosed just over a year before. Previous to that he had been a healthy 69 year old.
We still had plans to go on more holidays and just enjoy our retirement, but that wasn't to be. All the way through his illness I tried not to think of what 'might have been' or I would have driven myself mad. I feel I should be grateful for the many years we had together and the fact that we have two grown up daughters and two lovely grandchildren. I sometimes don't though, just feel a bit jealous when I see Grandads with their grandchildren, out on a walk or whatever. Is this normal? Is there a normal grieving process? Some days I think I am too 'cheerful' and that people must think I don't care. I do, deeply, but I still have my life to get on with. I do wonder if it will all come crashing down on me, because I realise this is forever, not just for a while.
Sorry if I'm rambling, but when I have read other people's posts, I wonder if I am not feeling enough pain and loss. I have a very good emotional support person, who says I had anticipatory grief when my husband was ill. I also have very good family support and good friends.
I am trying to sort everything out myself - just had the living room (where my husband passed away) decorated and carpeted, to make it fresher etc. I still feel his presence in the house, in a good way as if he is guiding me on, but realise I can make decisions on my own and deal with most things he did. I've always been a practical person and think I can either sink or swim, I am just about staying afloat at the minute.
Just trying to get my feelings into perspective, sorry about the very long post!
Llamalover xx
Hello, it does take time to accept the terrible truth. Took me many weeks, telling myself this is just a nightmare and I’ll wake up and my Linda will still be here. Still don’t want to believe it, but have accepted it.
The razzmatazz around Christmas certainly doesn’t help, when you’re grieving, Supermarkets with their Christmas songs on a loop are particularly difficult.
wrote Christmas cards out, which was tough, found out afterwards it’s acceptable not to send any cards on the first Christmas. Mainly did it for my Linda as she always pushed me to write the cards out, so felt it had to be done anyway.
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
I so pleased Gareth had such good care, I know how very important this is.
keep safe and well
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
I know how much Children can help, I see my youngest Son every other day, and he stayed with me a lot, when I had severe depression in 2003, was a year off work, without my 3 year old keeping me distracted and with all the love we felt for each other it kept me from going under, so yes I do realise.
keep safe and well
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
