Lost my mum

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Hey,I’m 32 years old and the world I knew on the 4th November drastically changed,my mum had died of a short illness with cancer ..she didn’t have it long,only recently diagnosed in the summer,she had her operation and was waiting to receive radiotherapy so we thought all was well until she fell ill again.Turned out the cancer had spread to her lungs,she was only in hospital a week and then she sadly passed away,she was only 67..I just feel so lost and devastated,I myself struggle with depression basically all my life and I just don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. I feel an emptiness inside of me,what is a child to do without their mother..

If anyone has any advice I would be forever grateful,at this moment in time I’m not in a good place mentally..Thank you

Debbiesbear over 2 years ago

Hello Nireland89.

Welcome to our forum, I am sorry to read of your loss,my wife passed in the small hours of 3rd November,many will feel your raw pain.

I hope you find some help in the many posts we have here.

You may want to join the Emotional support forum as well.

John.

Nothernlass over 2 years ago

Hello,

I'm so sorry to read your post. I see it was written a week ago, and I'm wondering how you're feeling now?

I came onto this site when I lost my husband, 4 years ago, and still drop in now and again. I'm much older than you, almost twice your age, but lost my mum earlier on this year. ( Not cancer)

It's very difficult to lose a mum, especially at your age, and when you already suffer with your mental health, that exaggerates everything. I suffer with anxiety at times, and this too was made worse by my losses.

However, it won't always feel like this. You are in the very early stages of grieving, so it'll not surprising you feel like you do.

At that stage, I found making lists for each day very helpful. I must confess, they included things like get up, have breakfast, get showered etc, in the beginning, but it did at least make me get on. As time went by, I added little tasks, and eventually I didn't need them, but sometimes, if it all got hard again, I would go back to making them again. In the beginning, I found it difficult to eat, so I just made sure I had something, not worrying too much about proper meals. Yoghurt, cereal, fruit, those sort of things. Easy to eat, and nutritious.

Do you normally have any hobbies? I do a lot of crafts, and if I couldn't sleep, I did sometimes get up and do some sewing. A bit weird at 3am, but it was better than laying awake thinking! I couldn't concentrate on much, so a bit of mindless telly, soaps etc, I could manage. Half an hour was ok.

I would say just try to do little things, very little if that's all you can. And feel proud of yourself for doing them. If you take medication, do you need to think about going to your GP to see if they may need to be adjusted?

Sending you a virtual hug x

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Lost my mum