Stuff

Hi ,

My term 'getting rid' may seem harsh but,  at the time  I  had to view parting with clothes and hobby equipment as something that I had to do.

If I allowed myself to second think every item I would never have been able to cope. I  sent the clothes to a charity shop via a relative who took them to a shop 3 hours away...so I never risked seeing anyone wearing my beloved husband's clothes.

Mark's memories are within me, he is and always will be a part of me... I have moved 200 miles away but he is still with me as much as he would be if I was sat in the home we shared together surrounded by his belongings.

We all have to do what is necessary in order to get cope with our loss, there simply isn't a right or wrong way but sometimes circumstances dictate what action we have to take whether we want to or not.

Mym

Hi Mym,

I was not having a dig at you, it was a logical way to start a reply.

I did say I found your post helpful, as I do many of the others on here.

Please stay safe and strong.

John.

Sorry John, 

Not for a minute did I think you were having a go and I apologise if that is how my post came across. 

I think I was simply trying to analyse and explain my circumstances and how we all cope differently. However, sometimes circumstances dictate how we HAVE to act rather than how we WANT to act. 

Mym

Hi Mym,

I understand and agree with you.

I always said to my wife you are part of a shitty club that no-one wants to join.

I now find myself part of a club that we could all do without being a part of,

Stay safe and strong.

John

It's very interesting to read different perspectives on all this. 

I remember throwing away the medical stuff very very quickly, then slowly put aside things, until last summer (remember, summer?) when I sorted lots of things, sold books, split the clothes between my daughters, family and the rest to charity, and I've created an attic in the loft with a curtain to put everything else but it's been put in random boxes without being sorted really. Now I keep thinking that I need to sort this attic, keep separating things I can use, things I want to keep and things I can get rid off, but weeks go by and the curtain doesn't move...

Maybe later today... 

x

19 months on and all I have thrown away is a razor and toothbrush everything is just the same in drawers and wardrobes! My thoughts are that they're not in the way so that's where they can stay. Some stuff is too good to throw or even give to charity (tight git ) I must learn ebay sometime

I did the same, got rid and kept two small memory boxes.

Dad took all his clothes to charity in the next big town so I never saw anyone in it. I have just sold a couple of military swords that I said I would never get rid of but they were no use to me and meant nothing to me personally. I hated the military stuff. The rest went to a military charity! 

It is memories that keep them alive not possessions. But we are all different. 

Love and hugs Alison xxx

It took me a bit of time but the majority of clothes have gone or given away.

I also have a memory box, and of all the things i found was the receipt  for the engagement ring he bought me, i did not know he had kept it, it was in his wallet, April 1964  was when he bought it, that meant more to me than anything, it is with his first driving licence, first union card and so on, its the little things that have the most memories.

Take Care Ellie xx