This past evening at 9.35pm it was one month since my darling Sharon passed away in my arms. I collected her ashes on Monday and had the funeral directors place them in the wonderful urn I purchased on line (Cherished-urns.co.uk) and a small quantity in a small pack for keepsake jewellery.
At 9.30pm I took Sharon’s ashes upstairs and la n our bed and broke down in tears as I literally kissed and cuddled the urn as if she was beside me once more, saying over and over how much I loved her, missed her. Then explained to her how I regret ever letting go of her after she had passed, somehow feeling I could have just kept her safe somehow and just carried on stroking her silky soft cheeks and hands and a peck on her nose.
There is truly still part of me holding onto the idea this is all still a really bad dream, I feel I’m literally hanging on by a thread, as you all know the pain of a broken heart is so great it’s overwhelming. Everyone says take each day, etc… and I understand and appreciate their sympathy, however it is only on this forum I feel people truly understand what I’m going through and can respond with genuine understanding.
But it’s tough and getting tougher, now I’m developing a fear of social interaction by thinking I’m just going to make everyone else around miserable as well. Hence the thought I’m really going crazy !!
love to all,
Paul x
