Memories of my wife

You can't win with this disease the longer they tried to be save my husband from this the worse it got,  you can't even hug them in the end it was too painful so quick or slow there are no good experiences of this unless we were just particularly unlucky he couldn't bear you touching him, sorry everyone I'm being very negative tonight don't know where its come from felt ok today x

we are all in the group that no one wants to belong to.  I long for just another day, another hug another kiss, another reassuring look and soft words saying it will be alright we’ve got each other and now I haven’t, now I’m alone with sad thoughts because they seem to be the only ones my mind wants me to remember , one day I hope the happy memories come through as there were so many.  
do not think there’s ever enough time because there would never be the right time to be left without our loved ones.  
hugs to you all x

How do we help each other?

It’s seems we all need to reach out to someone who understands our pain and the emptiness we’re all existing with. I have have my daughter and granddaughter who live with me, so I guess I’m fortunate but the little on is only 5 and is struggling, she misses her grandad. She’s gone from a little girl who skipped to school to one who cries and doesn’t want to go, school is getting a counsellor involved.

My husband’s brother tested positive for Covid days before funeral. Obviously he couldn’t attend and I was also worried about his wife attending. I said pcr test and isolate, if it’s negative, just come to us. I left a teary message, saying we needed to talk, she’s ignored it and I haven’t heard anything from them in over a week. How can I be the bad guy, I thought they would support us, if not me at least our girls. 

Sending love and hugs xx

We do all need someone to talk to…no matter how reserved or private we normally are, well that’s how I am feeling at the moment.    I don’t have any “friends “. Or family I’m in contact with,  Maureen had a son who I always got on with fine, however since the 17th August the day of the funeral we haven’t had any contact, I have tried.  Feel very hurt. I won’t try anymore.  His loss.   

That is sad but it seems grief makes people behave differently. My brother and sister in law have always been on the end a phone throughout the last 3 years. Now, when I am at my lowest, they’re not there, more of a reflection of who they are.
I would make the same decision today about them not attending his funeral because of the Covid risk. 
I think maybe people become so wrapped up their own grief, they don’t understand the depth of grief that we suffer. 

Any hurt or pain I feel at their rejection means nothing in comparison to what I’m feeling now. 

Take care 

Hello Gobekli, after 2 1/2 years I lost my wife Julia after 59 amazing years of marriage to ovarian cancer and 9 months on I still can’t believe that she is not here. I feel for you and hope that you will be able to remember all of the good things about your life together. She always kept a diary and now I have taken on that task to remind myself of the passing days but in a way letting her know that I am trying to carry on and what I am doing. I am lucky that my daughter lives with me and together we try hard to continue all of the daily and weekly traditions of our life are followed and this seems to help a bit. I am also fortunate in being able to paint which is an amazing therapy and which takes my mind of things for a while, but I so miss her coming into the studio with her helpful ‘suggestions’ at times. Best wishes, Colin