So sad at losing my husband

So sorry you have had to join this club on here ,I'm so very sorry for the loss of your husband,it's 14 months now since my hubby passed he had two years since he was diagnosed, the first few months are hard but you will get through them and this group helps a lot as everyone is in the same boat, just go with your feelings and take things day by day or hour by hour,take care. Sue

Hello

I have been told by many not to concentrate on regrets, but only on the positives, the good times and memories, we had many holidays while Linda still had her health, Cornwall several times, Linda so loved Cornwall, and Scotland. It is cruel though that at 68 we were not too old to still enjoy holidays, we had no mortgage, comfortable financially, so should have been a time to enjoy ourselves, unfortunately that was not to be. Looking at positives, although we divorced in 1984 after 12 years of marriage, we fell in love again in 2005 after each re marrying and getting divorced., and had another amazing 13 years together. So an enormous positive, I try not to think of the times I was horrid to my Wife, but concentrate on all the happy memories, all the amazing times we shared, it really works, it’s so self destructive to ponder on mistakes made regrets etc. it helps no one and can’t be changed. It’s taken me 4-5 months to finally accept I am on my own, physically anyway. I hate my new reality, but it’s something I will face, I am taking Citalopram Anti depressants, didn’t want to, but it’s calmed me down a lot and helped me see clearer.

very best wishes

keep safe and well

hi understand exactly what you are saying, my husband retired at 53 this year as we decided to change our lives, he was diagnosed with Cancer in May and died in August, our dreams of a new life shattered. 

What I have learnt this year, if you want to change your life then go for it as you never know what is round the corner

Take care 

Chelseabluegirl has this spot on.  Nic died in February aged 58.   I miss him terribly and we should have been planning our retirement together.  I'm slowly adjusting to life on my own and am making plans to get the house and garden sorted out.  Nic was always reluctant to change things as he was very sentimental and would never engage in a conversation about decorating, etc.  I'm going to go for it and make our home into the place I've always wanted it to be.  It will be bittersweet, but has to be done and I have to think of myself going forward.

I think acceptance is a very powerful realisation in this journey and once you get to and past that point, things seem somehow a bit easier.

Hi Curle, very sorry for your loss and that you find yourself part of this group. On the plus side the support I have received from this amazing bunch of individuals who each have a different story to tell has been invaluable to me over the last 6 weeks since I lost my husband Craig. He was only 56 and our dream was to overland Cairo to Cape Town as we had a mutual love of Africa, we also wanted to Campervan around Europe. I feel both these dreams have been taken away from me but I intend to continue travelling but probably in a different way. We had strived to achieve a better work life balance with neither of us working Friday afternoons but instead heading out onto the golf course, Fridays won’t quite feel the same again as this was our precious time together. With time I feel I will readjust myself but just hope he will watch over me & guide me a little whilst I take my time to do this. 
sending hugs

Tracey xx

A good philosophy, we get so tied up with the everyday stuff, we often forget what life is for. It is a regret, and I shouldn’t think it, but so wish we’d done more when we could, just so grateful for the time we had together and the fun we shared.