Too young

Ivy, you're right it's too young.

I'm so sorry for you and really hope you have support. 

My heart goes out to you...

Life as a mother is difficult at any age but being so young with such small children is extremely hard.  

To cope with the added burden of first the news of your husband's cancer and then the trauma of finding your husband... I cannot begin to imagine your pain.

But, please don't be hard on yourself, take time in your busy schedule to look after your needs. Your children just want their mummy, you don't have to be supermum. 

You will experience such a mix of emotions from grief to anger, denial to acceptance...

Take things one day at a time and remember to ask for and accept any help that is offered to you. 

Sending you a virtual but heartfelt hug x

Mym

I am so very sorry for your loss and can read in your lines how devastated and lost you are. My heart goes out to you and I am sending you a big, virtual hug.

Losing the love of your life at the age of 21 and with small kids... There are really no words... Just the hugs.

I want to ask you though: Do you have a good support network of family and friends? I think it is so important that you take help and support now from wherever you can. Would you perhaps get in touch with McMillan as well or the Samaritans to see what supports there are out there for you, perhaps counselling even?

Please keep posting here. We are all here and listening and supporting you.

Lots of love

Mel

Love and hugs.

Alison xxx

Ivy,

There are no words to describe the pain that you must be feeling, but what I can say is that there are so many lovely people on this site that will always be prepared to add a few kind words no matter how low you’re feeling. 

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this very sad time.

I do hope we all find peace one day, Ian x

Oh Ivy, you’re so young to be in this awful position. I am so sorry for you and your young family. I hope that you have somebody who can offer you the support and help you need at this time. Take care of yourself if you can, take things slowly at a pace that is right for you.

Sending hugs

Jane

xx

Mel,

Thanks for your words it's just so nice to see that people are there just for a few kind words. It goes along way.

And as for your question. I don't have much support, but the ones I have are all I need. 

As I said before my sister was my legal guardian when my parents died. She's 28 now, she's just adopted a son and married her long time boyfriend. Despite the chaos of being new parents they've shared their home with me. For obvious reasons I don't feel comfortable alone in the house Nathaniel died. The twins share a travel cot and my 11 month old shares an air mattress with me. It's no ideal but it's alright for now.

And for the samartians I'll be sure to check them out. Heard alot about them 

Ivy x

It's good that you are at your sister's. Take your time and like Mym said, don't be hard on yourself.

Your love story is amazing. I always try to find comfort in thinking that what we've experienced was unique and that some people don't ever find love at all. We can be grateful for what we've had. It doesn't make it easy, but it helps at times.

Sending you lots of hugs. Xx

Hi Ivy,

I was just thinking of you and was asking myself how you are doing now.

Love Mel

I hope you are coping if that is the right word to use Ivy. 

The coroner implied my husband took his life, he had alcohol and morphine in his system. The alcohol was not unusual as he was an alcoholic and he had been prescribed morphine. He died suddenly and even as a nurse it was hard to find him. I fought to clear his name and don't believe he did die on purpose. He may have miscalculated what his body could manage with chemo. 

I have always taken a lot of strength from my children. Ric was my second husband, my first was my children's dad who died suddenly aged 49. We were young when we met and together 26 years. I sort of get some of what you have been through. Do message if you want to.

Love and hugs Alison xxx