Going back to a place we both loved and I’m anxious

Hi

Definitely go away with your friend! It will be difficult at times and you will cry, but I’m sure your friend will understand.

My husband, Ian, passed away 11 weeks ago. Like you, I felt and still feel,  a sense of overwhelming grief, disbelief  and fear of a future without him. 

As my son and three year old granddaughter live in Spain  I made the decision to come and visit for a few weeks. I travelled out here on my own and yes, I did have tears as I left the house, tears at the airport and a sense of loneliness  on the flight. Thank goodness for dark sunglasses and face masks!

It has been nearly a week now, and some days have been easier than others but it has been lovely spending time with family. This is the first time I’ve visited without Ian and every minute  I wish he was here with me. My granddaughter often talks  about her grandad and how they used to play. It’s not always easy to respond but I have to as I don’t want her to forget him.

It has been hard visiting places out here that we both loved   but all I can say is I’m glad I came. I hope you will feel the same on your time away.

Like you, I had doubts about making this journey and I do worry about returning home to an empty house. However, I’ve decided to just take one day at a time and see where that leads me.

Hope this has helped a little

Julie x

Hi, 

I have been back to places we loved sometimes I find comfort sometimes sadness, I just accept that happens. I recently went to the lakes not a place I had been to with Jerry cancer robbed us of that dream. I was sick crying and very anxious before the trip it was one of his bucket list items. I wrote on here about the trip I am so glad I did go I found it healing. X 

I have found that sometimes the pain and sadness can be quite cathartic. And once you've done it, you will be able to do it again. The memories are what we must all cherish. And visiting that place that meant so much to you and your husband may prove to be a place that conjures up the memories that sustain you...

Martha

Same as everybody, I went back this Summer with my daughters and friends to the place we'd been just a year ago for our last holidays together. We knew that it was the end and had decided to go away for a few days on the seaside to allow Juliette to see the sea once more.

Going back there I was scared that it would be too much, but because we were there with good friends we've created new memories of this place. Of course we thought about it and had tears in our eyes, but we also had a good time.

Every hard bit you go through makes you stronger. 

Take care xx

As I read your post I am at this very moment in a hotel close to where my husband trained in the Navy. A place where he was happy and a place I have lovely memories of visiting with him.  

This weekend will mark the 1 year anniversary since he passed away.. the trip has taken considerable inner strength but I was/am determined to do it alone for him. I have even brought a small amount of his ashes with me to scatter as part of my planned personal list of 'To Do's' over this weekend.

Yes, there will be tears but overall I think it will be cathartic for me, whilst honouring my amazing and much loved dearest husband

Personally I would say go on the trip, plan a few things that you enjoyed with your loved one and feel close to them as you retrace your steps  of past holidays x

Hi Julie, well done for making that journey by yourself and for having the courage to do it!  Especially in these early days. I did have my weekend away but although I enjoyed parts of it, I’ve been left with an emptiness. Watching other women with their husbands and partners was particularly difficult. I came home this evening and it’s not so bad coming home to an empty house.  I can feel him all around me, so please don’t be worried about it when you come home.  Enjoy the rest of your stay. X 

I’m hoping that I will look back and be glad I did it x 

Hi Pooka,  I totally admire your strength and I hope you did what you set out to do, I’m sure he would be so proud of you x 

Hi Devin, I’m so glad you had a positive experience. It sounds like you all had a celebration to remember! I was so glad I had my close friend with me.  I’m sure your Juliette would have been thrilled with you all.  
Viv

Hi Martha, I found it difficult to ‘keep it together’ and I filled up with tears on a couple of occasions but no sobbing, I managed to save that until I got home!  If I’m honest, my visit only highlighted how much I miss him and I felt empty.  I looked at other couples walking hand in hand and it cut like a knife, making me feel even lonelier. Today I feel bereft. You’re right though, love is eternal. Thank you.

Viv